MIL looking after toddler

I’m really struggling to know how to deal with a situation, my husband is constantly nagging me about his mum looking after our 2 year old once a week, and I simply do not trust her. She is in her mid 70s and my 2 year old is wild and loves to push boundaries. She also has crossed a lot of boundaries and I don’t like the way she interacts with him, we’ve struggled with his behaviour and she does stuff like telling him to hit things and laughs when he’s naughty. His dad also really makes me uncomfortable, he’s a very strange man and I don’t trust him. They see him every week already so I just don’t see the need for him to be left alone with him and I honestly just find it weird they are so insistent on being alone, my husband says they want to bond with him more. Whenever I bring up my concerns to my husband it just starts an argument and everything I say just offends and upsets him. I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore as it’s just a never ending argument getting bought up every few days.

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You’re the mother. “I don’t want them to watch my child” should be enough. My husband knows I don’t trust his mom and will never leave our son with her and that’s the end of the discussion. Since you can’t bring up your concerns without him getting upset I simply wouldn’t leave it up for discussion anymore. Say no and that’s it.

My partner and I are going through the same thing with his mum. It has sort of worked for us her having our 18 month old for 1 morning once a week or once every 2 weeks, and sometimes I stay and other times I head out for a couple of hours. Your in laws have to build up that trust, but if you've got a gut feeling that you can't trust them, then be guided by that

So my husband and I kind of had this before we cut them out. His mom was very insistent on babysitting our baby and I didn’t want her to just from the way I’ve seen her interact with my baby (taking her nose cannula out when she was on oxygen because “she didn’t need it”, taking off with her, refusing to give her back, and whispering to her) but my husband wanted to shut her up so we came to the compromise that she’d watch the baby when he went out to eat with his dad and I got a workout in and shower so I’d still be around and she ended up never changing her diaper or even checking it so I actually took a picture of the massively full diaper and her red butt and sent it to my husband via text saying she’d never be alone with our child and he agreed that she’d never be alone with the baby let alone babysit ever again. They’ve since been completely cut off

@Alice I’ve tried this but he replied with I’m his father I should get a say as well. Whenever I say I don’t trust them he just gets really upset and says well I do and that should be good enough. I can’t tell him his dad just gives me the creeps. They see him every week I just don’t understand the need to be alone with him, like what do you want to do that you can’t when one of us is there.

@Katie this is what I’ve tried to explain to him that they’ve never built up any trust so I’m not comfortable with it. They are also in their 70s and slow, he gets himself into a lot of dangerous situations and I just worry that something would happen!

If he’s that adamant about them babysitting, is it a compromise to have them watch him at your house while your present but doing something else so at least you’re around if something were to happen?

100% agree with you! When it comes to leaving your kid with anyone, BOTH parents need to be okay with it. Not just him.