Urghh, Christmas gifting...

This is interesting because others would be happy and grateful to have family members that would love to spoil their children. I guess I understand the fact that having a lot of toys at home can be overwhelming and cause a lot of clutter. Maybe ask them to keep the toys and extra bits at their house so your child can play with it when they visit

We used to have this issue I used to fight it now I just let them but I say if there buying toys they take it back to there house for when the kids go vist 🤷🏻‍♀️ …. They will soon buy less junk when it has to be stored in there own home

@Chí yeah I understand that.. I am grateful of course.. but I also explained to them that in order to make space I have to get rid of things that are still perfectly good and are still played with (I then started listing toys with things they've previously gifted amongst them) and the opinion soon changed and they suddenly agreed with me 🤣 but again.. the attitude quickly changes back to "I'm not allowed to buy anything HUFF" 🤦‍♀️

Great idea about making them take them home! but it wouldn't work in our situation, long story cut very short ... we don't visit MILs house, my daughter has never been there.

@Chí it’s not about been ungrateful it’s about having a lot of people buying a lot of toys that aren’t played with …. I have 5 children they all get spoilt off me and my parents and my partners parents … can you imagine how many toys that is? …. We have the rule of anything bought stays at there’s

Doesn’t matter … we don’t vist much either is still tell them to keep them there… it will show them they don’t get used there’s no need to get them haha

@Abbieleigh I think I did clearly say “I understand that having a lot of toys can be overwhelming and cause a lot of clutter” Please did you miss that part. Then did you also miss the part where I clearly suggested the same thing you did. I never called OP ungrateful, I stated that it’s an interesting topic.

@incog fair enough, that does make it a lot trickier if you don’t visit. Hmm. Maybe sell it and make a bit of money of it, or better yet donate it they don’t listen. (Just thinking of less confrontational ways to deal with it since they’re already kinda not listening) I can understand the attitude and everything they could give, can be annoying and cause unnecessary tension. :(

No advice, just wanna say I feel you - whenever someone asks what to buy my son, I say anything but toys (unless it's an outside toy/activity as we have the space)! Definitely becomes overwhelming 😭

I hate it when people waste their money , our daughter has everything and we’ve asked for money or membership to the zoo or soft play so we can enjoy days out as a family

@Chí thank you.. I think I'm annoyed because it's the first Christmas we've ever requested money for her they've previously been allowed to buy whatever they want.. and they've both outright said "Christmas is for presents not money, I like to buy presents!" And it's damn right infuriating! Especially when we came out with a fantastic idea that they agreed with... to our face anyway 🤦‍♀️🤣

@Gabriella THIS! I don't understand why people turn their nose up at buying things like clothes!? Kids constantly need new clothes! Why has it always gotta be a toy!? 😫 My daughter loves getting new clothes, I've shown them videos of her opening a parcel with new clothes in and she was over the moon! I thought it would sway them but no.. 🤦‍♀️

@Claire I love that idea! Unfortunately I don't think they'd like gifting a membership for somewhere either which is a shame! If it doesn't come in a big box or a pile it's not good enough for them 🤦‍♀️

I would honestly just let my child open the toy (which would be one of many) and then pack it away, if they ask where it is/if she likes it etc, just say you haven't had a chance to open it yet as she already has so many toys 🤷🏻‍♀️

I personally would just let them buy, it's their granddaughter and great granddaughter, and I understand them wanting to buy her something to open and I don't think PJs aren't very exciting.I know it can be annoying as my MIL is the same keeps buying, but it's her way of showing how much my daughter means to her. I either leave the toys at MILs house, or maybe controversial but donate them if I know my daughter won't play with them, or donate some of her older toys to keep the clutter down

@Kath yeah I'm quickly realising that I'm just going to have to start letting them do as they please because that's what they'll do regardless 🤷🏼‍♀️ Its just so frustrating that no one listens to me. I've dug my heels in over it purely because she's ignoring me. She's there listing small things and I'm loosing my marbles over it because no one listens to a word I say but somehow IM the problem 🥴

I always think as well to pick my battles, I can let presents slide but other things like over stepping boundaries with behaviour etc I can't let slide.

Let them buy what they want and after Christmas say you’re having a clear out to make room for new toys and would anyone like to keep x at their house for little one to play with. Otherwise it goes to the charity shop! This is definitely not worth causing you stress

I have this problem, with his birthday in November and then Christmas. He really doesn’t need anything and he’s just got loads of new toys, so we’ve asked for money, or vouchers which he can go spend later next year. I’ve also said that I’ll be having a clear out right after Christmas, and they know I have no problem with giving donating toys no matter how new

@Claire I can relate! My daughters birthday is February so still very close to Christmas. My thinking was.. they typically get less at birthdays so I'd be happy for them to buy her whatever then. But Christmas is different, she already has lots.. plus the pile of new things we've bought.. I thought we was being reasonable with our request but apparently not 😂 I've had a before christmas clear out but depending on what she gets for Christmas I may have to do another!

I think you did right asking for cash for summer toys, that’s what I try so most years. But I also like the suggestion of sending toys back to grandparents houses, I might try that one x

We didn’t ask for money, but implemented a 4 gift rule. Something they want, need, wear, and read. I also created an Amazon list with things they would like. I’m hoping this limits gifts and junk while still allows the kids gifts to open. I finally told my husband he had to tell his mom no because I was tired of being the bad guy and it was dressing me out. I’m sorry you are also dealing with nonsense.

@Usinger I like the 4 gift rule! I may implement that next year! I'm also going to make my husband do the communicating next year! It's exhausting! I did suggest to him a few months ago that we start making a list and then offer a suggestion from the list to people who asked what to buy for her.. for some reason we didn't.. 🤦‍♀️

My grandad is like this with my little boy. My little boy is 1 and he got some slippers aged 5-6... I've given up telling him no but told him to ask me first before buying things (so the size is right at least). I get how annoying it is but I have no advice. If they would rather buy presents could you make a list of things your little one can use in 6 months (for example)

@Kath whilst I completely understand what you're saying... and I can see why some people see my reaction as ungrateful.. but this isn't just about presents this is very much a boundary issue for me because I'm saying no and she can't respect it.. She's literally being trying to wear me down and guilt me for weeks on it... its a tough one for sure!

I have the same issue with my mum, she likes buying lots of little bits, doesn’t ask what my little girl wants/likes and when I make suggestions she completely ignores them. Much prefer one decent thing for her than a load of unnecessary crap. I totally get where you’re coming from and you have every right to feel annoyed and like your boundaries are being over stepped, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise, go with your gut. I’ll be making trips to the charity shop after Christmas no doubt. Give them to those who need them.x

Set up a donation bin in your living room. Each toy your kid opens from them goes straight to the bin... then you can teach your kid how they can bring joy to others by passing along the excess instead of keeping it all

@Megan love that!

Yeah i provide a list upon request. I do not accept things that I dont want in our home, no matter who purchases it. Family and friends know by now that im perfectly comfortable donating what they buy for our child, to a child in need. My husband and I, don't mind hurting feelings if it means our sanity stays in tack and we can lessen those back and forth arguments. So I'm pro, I said no to that item. Here are some options, if you insist on buying our child something. Give list of like 5 things. If you provide something else, just know you run the risk that we will NOT be able to accept that item. People have huffed and puffed but they have mostly followed our rules. And I have donated things as well, although rarely. We have to set boundaries because people will take liberties.