Am i being unreasonable?

I don’t want to see my partners family or have them round the baby at the moment. This is a long one but i really would appreciate some advice/ would love to know if anyone else feels this way☹️ Since being post partum my partners family have been tricky with seeing our baby. They complained about our rules, actively turned up with no warning at the house and members of the family demanded to hold the baby as soon as 1 week post partum. Others have complained in a group chat that they haven’t met our baby yet, despite being extended relatives who we never see. One relative took my four week old out my arms and announced that they would be in charge of giving everyone ‘a shot’ which left me really upset. A couple of members of his immediate family have also commented on me breastfeeding and how it’s ’not going to work when others want to have the baby’ and that i’m being unrealistic in feeding on demand etc. Also commented that i’m over paranoid about flu season, and made comments about me needing to learn to ‘share’ the baby. I feel really really judged by everyone bar 4 members and feel that everyone goes away annoyed by something i’ve done. In contrast, my family is amazing and never over steps despite being super excited and interested. They show their interest by checking up on us, offering meals, support, and being interested in how the baby is doing. I love my partner, and know how much he adores his family and how much he wants them to be involved but i feel so overwhelmed i just don’t want to see any of them. I feel like they almost gaslight me into thinking im over anxious/ ridiculous and im worried he might start to think the same. He understands and agrees they over step sometimes and has tried to help push back on them but i just feel like there’s a limit to how much i can say to him without making him feel like he needs to choose between me and them.

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I could have written this myself!

Feel free to message me, I can’t message you as you’re incognito x

Tell them to do one and respect you as a mother. People irritate the fuck out of me i swear. I had this a lot with my first. Telling me what I can and shouldn't do... I listened to some.. but tbh it took a lot of my own experience away from it. And this time i am doing it all my way etc. There have been comments made but i was just like .. "yea..nooo" - You are the parents. Everyone else can just go and f themselves ;D xx 😘

@Laura 😂 I value your comment on this subject! My husbands family are also irritating me, well mainly his mother who has such old fashioned views. The first time she saw my little one who was 6 days old at the time, she turned up with a cold, wore a face mask so not to 'spread germs' and practically grabbed my baby from me. I was on edge the whole time and felt powerless to say anything. I was livid and an anxious mess when she went, paranoid my baby was now infected! Luckily, she seems to be ok. She is just over 3 weeks old now. Other strange things that she does that irritates me is making strange comments such as I shouldn't be doing anything in the day apart from relaxing as 'your milk will dry up' 😂 She seems to have an issue with me continuing with life with my newborn 😅 I could continue to go on with a list of annoyances...

I actually think I’m pretty laid back with the whole visitor thing but they are absolutely out of line and I wouldn’t be happy with any of this at all. You’re totally within your right. Stick to your guns. The only people who will be impacted in the long run will be you and your baby if your boundaries aren’t respected. Quite frankly it doesnt matter what anyone else says or thinks. I can’t imagine it will solve the issue but I wouldn’t want them coming over either. Hope it gets better

Stick to your own boundaries and don’t let them bully you in to feeling uncomfortable. You know what’s best for your baby, and they need to like it or lump it! 💖

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