Failing motherhood

My 5 year does not listen to anything I say. He will attack me or his sister if he doesn't get what he wants. I do the Redirecting method, time outs, I take toys, I try to have him sit down but that doesn't work at all. ( he won't sit down) He will spit, kick, scream. If I try to put him in time out in a different room, he will trash the room. He goes to school and Afterschool and I've already gotten Numerous calls a out his behavior. He will listen a little when his father is around but that's only in the morning for about hour (before going to school) his father keeps screaming at me that i need to whip his ass but hitting kids really doesn't work. So with all this being said I'm bout to lose my shit.

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Have you considered having him tested? I only ask because I worked with young children on the spectrum and a lot of my clients had behaviors similar to this. You’re not failing mama there just may be something else going on that’s out of your control.

I was going to say that you should get him tested. Could be on the spectrum or have a behavioral issue.

@Crysta yes because this sounds similar to my clients that had aggressive behaviors when access to an item was restricted. I’ve bitten, slapped, etc more times than I can count.

Everyone may not agree, but a little pop on the hand or butt goes a long way. Especially for a kid whose never gotten popped before. You don't have to "whip his ass" as dad suggested. But a pop on the hand or butt, isn't bad in my opinion. My son is 7 and he's gotten popped about 3 times in his life. It's never a go to, but more of a "we've tried all other alternatives". If he's listening/behaving when Dad is around, he's capable of listening/behaving in general. You're not failing motherhood at all! 5yo's love to push boundaries and test their limits.

What about family counseling as well because it's affecting everyone

There's a kid in my son's class who's going through some things. The parents are wonderful. The kid has developmental issues. Agree with Amber. Your son's still young and with the right resources, it'll be easier to understand him. Good luck!

Hi! If you happen to end up needing some neurodivergence resources here are 2 that have a ton of great info and support for various needs!! https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/resource-hub?fbclid=IwAR3qCq9HbGIJJWRD845aZPmC9SWJPNfopYVETLbGqzhfOMbeJr3qekH7yrc https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rPpqxlufrQlv8Orq7aL8D5TyOD6EooVOGM52wJvVUXI/edit

Sounds like he has a behavioural issue as this doesn’t sound normal . It’s most likely down to you - seek help x

Research shows that using physical punishment methods like slapping their bum does not teach them how to learn right from wrong and it can create a bad relationship with them. I was hit as a child as it was the norm back then, just a bum slap and it never fixed anything. Yes it shuts them up for a bit but it’s because they’re worried about getting hit again. We need to be teaching children the cause and effect of behaviours, eg, hitting people will hurt them and make them upset which leads to losing something they desire or if they are working towards earning something then that is another step closer to not getting that. To the poster, they may have behavioural differences or neurological differences etc etc but until you know that try implementing strategies like a sticker chart, every time they don’t lash out and control their anger they gain a sticker, and at the end they earn a toy they’ve been wanting. Maybe he’ll respond better to that than taking things? x

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