I need a change
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Watch supernanny in the interim
Try family therapy and speak to her like a little adult. I’d start off with apologizing to her for spanking her and tell her it’s not a good way to handle frustrating situations. You can say “I will try to do this when you do that instead of spanking” If you do slip up and spank her it’s okay you’re trying to break that habit just apologize when you realize what you’ve done and hug her for reassurance that it’s something you’re working on. If she screams yells hits run etc say “I understand you’re frustrated but this is not how you behave. If you’re upset take a deep breath. If you need to calm down sit in your room and color. If you catch her in a lie and you know for a fact she’s lying say “I would appreciate if you tell me the truth because lying is bad and I won’t be able to trust your words.” For discipline use time out. If my boys misbehave I let them know what they did, why it was an issue and they stand in timeout for 5 mins or so.
I use timeout for things I don’t have to repeat myself about, like important things. Them doing something that could harm them and they know they shouldn’t do, harm their brothers, not apologizing things to that nature. In your case I’d use it after every time you feel you would need to spank her so she can understand that you are establishing a form among discipline that doesn’t cause harm to her. You also have to be consistent. You have to remember a child is a new human being and it is our job to teach them common sense so something you think they should know they won’t know because they weren’t taught. And it takes a good consistent schedule of said thing for them to get it down. So just be patient with her and yourself. But listen mama, you’re acknowledging you don’t want to keep this going and you want to do better so don’t be to hard on yourself. You’re awesome. 💜
As someone who is in the same boat, she does stuff because she knows she gets more of a reaction/attention from you when she does bad things. When my kids run off I do tend to yell, and sometimes I do feel ready to explode because of anxiety, anger and frustration. Take a deep breath first and foremost and understand you’re not a bad parent. A bad parent wouldn’t feel guilty or be asking for suggestions on what they can do differently. Grab your kid firmly and speak firmly about what they did and why it was wrong And just keep moving. Don’t feed into their bad behaviors, and if they continue to do that maybe the only thing there is to do is put little wristband hand holder thing or leash until they can walk a bit more safely. I had to do that for a while 😭
I’m crying because these comments have quite literally been exactly what I needed to hear so far. I just want to be better than my parents were and I’m so scared I’ll screw up my kid😞
@Gabriela 😭 😂
I would recommend “The Gentle Discipline Book” by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and “The book you wish your parents had read” by Phillips Perry. Definitely not Supernanny 🙈
Is your child oppositional?
This is a very informative page on Instagram about gentle parenting (and how it’s about setting firm boundaries and not being a pushover). There are online courses available to buy, but if they’re unaffordable, it does have a lot of good information on the posts to read through ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/nurturedfirst?igsh=ajRtc2tsNGVjbjY0
That sounds so hard. Parenting is not easy. These behaviors sound normal for that age. But knowing that doesn’t make it easier… especially when there is danger involved. Some of my favorite authors/parenting experts that have helped me are Dr Becky, she wrote “Good Inside”. Deborah Macnamara,PhD I’m currently going through her book “Rest, Play, Grow” and it’s phenomenal at explaining how children’s brains develop and what they are experiencing and capable of at different stages. Other books I’ve loved are No Drama Dicipline The While Brained Child Raising Good Humans How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen You’re doing amazing and the fact that you recognize areas you want to change and do things differently shows that you care and are a great parent. One of the mantras Dr Becky uses that sticks with me is “Good parents aren’t perfect- good parents repair”