Annoyed

Is there more to this? Will she run home and tell mom she’s being “mistreated?” Is anyone afraid visitation will cease if they don’t give in/spoil her? If that’s the case try talking to him, at the end of the day we aren’t expected to be friends to our children, we need to be parents first.

I could've written this. I literally just finished an argument with my husband about his manipulative baby mother. He's so afraid of having a custody battle that he allows her to act anyway. I literally just told him that being a stepmother is a burden. I could see the pain in his eyes, but he won't open his mouth or do anything, and I can't keep on being disrespected. It's so frustrating 😫.

Same... both hubby and his family make excuses for it, too. It's very upsetting, and I'm always crying over it. It makes it harder, too, since my SD lives with us full time so I have to see that ALL of the time. Her mom is a recurring drug addict who relapses every year for months to a year and then shows back up when she's sober, so they use that as their excuse. While it is sad and I feel so bad for my SD, why does my son get treated differently because my SD's mother doesn't want to be here with her kid? My son has nothing to do with that situation. Hubby and I fight over it a lot. My heart breaks for my son.

Same 😕

@Alyson my husbands mom is afraid she will be taken from us if we don’t do things the way her mom wants them. His mom kisses their ass all day long. She also thinks that if we have rules she wont wanna come over anymore and then “we will have to suffer tge consequences of that” . His mom thinks its “unfair” that our daughter gets to have a two parent house hold meanwhile she doesnt so she needs extra.

@Lea (name changed).. it really is a burden unless you have a coparent that is on the same page as you and doesn’t use their kid as a pawn or treat parenting like a chore. This chick will pay for extracurricular activities but wants to sit around and wait for government assistance to help pay for preschool when my husband is trying to help pay for preschool. She refuses the help. Its ridiculous

@Sabrina girl that is TRAGIC. I couldn’t do that everyday thing, especially when the other parent is just choosing not to be a parent and is self motivated. Ive adopted the NACHO parenting technique. I just focus on my daughter because at the end of the day that is what I have the most control over. I always tell my MIL, in order for me to be able to give them the best version of myself, I need to be able to run our household the way we want it…not you…not her mother. Thats not fair to my kid

I would get visitation on paper then so the mother can’t just not send her if she’s being reprimanded for bad behavior or a bug up her ass. Part of being a parent is parenting. We can’t let these kids run rampant. MIL needs to understand there has to be structure in order to raise a child to become a successful member of society. And she has both of her parents, clearly you guys are very much a part of her life. It’s not like her father is absent. MIL needs to step back into grandma role and not parent role. I hope ur hubby backs you.

@Alyson the last time I made a comment about it my mother in law was like “yall need to worry about her putting him on child support and him having to pay back pay” before I was involved she told him it was never the plan to put him on child support. Since she was 1 and a half when I met her…we used to have her every single day because mom had nowhere to live and then all of a sudden when she did have somewhere to stay (it was a secret) mom automatically was like yall get every weekend and I get the week days and its been like that for the past 4 years. She even made the same comment about not putting him on child support recently but we all know its because then she cant manipulate the schedule to benefit herself. I want him to get a set schedule so they cant do that anymore. She wont even let him put her on his work insurance because she will lose medicaid. Sis she doesn’t even need medicaid! I dont want my husband to have to pay back pay to medicaid because she wants to be a govern

Government rat. I feel like child support is for absent fathers who do not contribute anything. My husband does his share to the extent she lets him. And with us seeing her at least 4 days a week thats split custody as it is.

I don’t know about there but child support and custody are two completely different things here. If she goes for child support and you guys have her 4 days a week then she’s not going to get very much lol. It will also affect her government aid. Call her bluff on that when the time comes, but I doubt it will. I would get visitation on paper through the court. You start with a mediator and see if you can come to an agreement. Then she can’t use seeing the child as a manipulation tactic. Just say you want what you have now on paper that’s all. Then grandma can fall back into line.