Looking for advice/opinions
I posted earlier this week about being 9 months post partum and pregnant again. Immediately after I took the test and saw it was positive, my first instinct was to choose termination - this is what my partner and I discussed and agreed on after the birth of our first: if we got pregnant before our ideal time frame (to end up with a ~3 year age gap) then we would choose to terminate.
Given our finances, the fact that we’re renting a one bedroom apartment (sharing the room with our baby now), needing to move at the end of May when the lease ends, living in the Bay Area, and are currently sharing a car, I think realistically we cannot follow through with this pregnancy. Our take home annual pay between us is around $110k total, but we have a lot of debt and do not own a property. Aside from money, my partner says he can’t mentally handle another child at the moment, plus we do both want to make sure that our time and attention that isn’t spent on work or household tasks, goes to our first. We also want to get married in the next few years before having a second child. Termination seems like the logical and obvious decision but it breaks my heart and ultimately doesn’t sit right with me. I have always been pro choice and know that this is entirely my choice but I guess I’m looking for some external POV’s in either direction.
Do you have two kids with a small age gap? Or are you currently pregnant after having your March baby? How is it on your body, your mental health, your relationship, and your finances? Or, if you have chosen to terminate, how did that affect you?
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I am also 9 month pp and 9 weeks pregnant. We currently live with my mother by choice. Do either of you have family? We are slowly building a family compound. We didn’t plan this pregnancy but I personally don’t think I could go through with termination. It’s rough right now with the pregnancy symptoms but everyone tells me it will be worth it.
I'm not pregnant, nor do I understand what you're going through, but there's always adoption? You can give a couple a gift of life, and you can also be a part of that child's life and see them grow up. This is a very personal and very sensitive subject, and whatever you do you will have to live with the pros and cons of your decision. I hope the best for you and your family. 🩷
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I was jobless & on the verge of losing our house when I found out I was pregnant. We discussed termination but when I went for a follow up we found out it was twins which made the decision twice as hard. We ended up homeless for 3 months during the middle of my pregnancy and secured a rental last Christmas - 3 months before I delivered. We had ZERO money and with me being post partum it wasn’t looking like going to work was going to be an option anytime soon. We were so broke my partner had to leave me in the hospital to DoorDash to get us lunch and keep the power on at the house. Nine months later we’re trying to decide which Christmas gifts to get the kids for their first Christmas. Obviously at the time the termination would’ve been easier but with how quickly our finances changed, I can’t imagine taking away the life my twins are now living. We are far from financially free but the point is we are on our way and now I have the littles to share the journey with. Good luck♥️