Unwanted gift from MIL

Mine did this too she has nothing to do with my son but will send him gifts he’s also 2. But she will spend her time with my husbands eldest son from his previous relationship but makes no effort with my children. I asked her to stop sending gifts and she didn’t so I started sending them back 🙈 she finally got the message after the second one x

Send it back to her xx

She might be one of those people that say things they don’t mean when they’re hurt and angry. Because her going out of her way to get a gift to me shows she cares. She might feel sad about not being able to spent time unsupervised. Some people are just like that. A lot of grandparents who truly don’t gaf about their grandchildren wouldn’t even ask what they want for Christmas. I guess what I would do is just to ignore it until everyone’s ready to sit and talk like you said.

@Chí see to me I see it as a blatant disregard and disrespect to the parents and their wishes xx

I would keep the gift and use it. No drama needed there to me. Stay firm to your boundaries and at solving the issue. But I would definitely not mind receiving a gift for my child.

@Amy it is disrespectful, my angle was coming from the fact that she was saying hurtful things as she’s unfortunately like one of those “hurt people who hurt people” Doesn’t make it right at all. I just think she does care about her grandchild and actually wants to have a relationship with her, hence why she felt she needed to get her a gift. Not a show of thing. But I don’t know her and don’t know the full story, just going off what I think. There are a lot of shitty grandparents who won’t even acknowledge their grandkids so that’s what made me come to my conclusion

Currently dealing with the same situation. The in laws are not consistent with my kids and believe a FaceTime call once a year is enough contact. We cut them off back in April and they still sent birthday gifts and most recently Christmas gifts but have yet to acknowledge the elephant in the room. I told my husband I wanted to send all the gifts back to make a point to them but he instead opened them, rewrapped them and removed their names and put from mom & dad. I’m very annoyed my husband’s parents don’t see a problem with their behavior and are acting as if nothing happened.

Personally I think sending the gift is like an F you to the parents “I’ll do what I want” attitude. The chances of sitting down with someone like that and getting the result you want is slim. Why MIL’s do this to their own family I’ll never know! Surely the respect should go to the parents. I don’t have the best relationship with my mum as she’s overstepped my boundaries all my life and been abusive also. I was never close to my MIL but she’s respected mine and my husband’s wishes concerning how we raise our little one. That’s basic decency and respect. Stick to your guns, she’ll have to learn x

Is she a dangerous person? Why don’t we want her to be alone with the child? Also I assume DH is your husband but what does that stand for?

@Cassie darling husband

@Cassie I wouldn't describe her as dangerous but rather negligent & irresponsible when it comes to children. For example she thought it was OK to let my LO suck on toilet wipes & overfed her other grandchild so much ice cream/treats they were sick, offered my LO alcohol at 1yrs old. She doesn't respect us as the parents. Thinks she can do what she wants with our child without our knowledge or permission.

@Kirsten same! My mil makes the effort with my husband's child from a previous situation but never asked to see our LO & make time to really get to know her. Mil literally knows nothing about our LO, even the gift she send is a clear indication she doesn't know what our LO likes! I'm glad your mil got the message finally!