Social services

Why was social services visiting you?

No. Social services only take children as a last resort. Despite what some may think and project, social services aren’t ripping children out of households over small things. They don’t have the foster parents or spaces in residential to house removed children. Social services will always try to work with families by ways of support where they can. They will also speak with yourself and piece together a picture of your home life. They won’t just go on what children say unless serious disclosures are made and they need to safeguard the child/ren. They will also take into consideration the background of the family including culture and ethnicity.

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I’d be more worried about why they are there in first place. Shouting and being loud isn’t the end of the world they will make a note but it’s nothing serious. The fact they are coming round talking to your children is the bit you should be worried about

@Payton so I had an argument with their dad and didn't like the way it made me feel. With no one to turn to i went to the police in thinking I could just speak to them because of how it made me feel. I stuffe with high aneixty and they said they wasn't a counselling service and referred me to social services. I no they are not a counselling service I just didn't no who to talk to

@kelly it because previously I was on a plan with them due to DV

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Please contact a local DV/DA charity. They will be able to offer you some support and help moving forward

@Hazal don’t worry honestly shouting and being loud is totally normal in every household some times. Like Donna said they will never take children unless they think they are not safe or at risk c

https://www.stpetersbrockley.org.uk/unconditional I’m not sure if this is that close to you but I did google Brockley, London (I don’t know London very well at all 😅) but they have a support group and resources that could be very helpful and comforting for you x

@Donna Woods i did say to her I had all the support so when I went though and completed everything they put me, on I felt like the support system wasn't there no more and I really thrived on it

Trust me- social services won’t take kids for a bit of shouting! I know kids that don’t shower or have clean clothes but because they have clothes and a roof over their head and food (although shit tinned meatballs and pizzas) they still live in that house!

@Payton I was previously due to DV on a CP plan.

@Rebekah I had to have a chat with the school deputy nevause I was shit scared and even she said I no kids in the school who suffered horrible abuse yet still wasn't taken. But because we was previously on A CP Plan because their dad smashed my place up and I worked with them for a year and did amazing on it. I'm scared they be taken

@kelly ok thank you . She did say i needed support emotional and she look into groups etc but I don't no if I will be put back on a plan like CIN plan

Coming from a place of love…even when you think kids aren’t listening they are. I know this because I tried to shield my first son from his father’s abuse to me and thought I did a great job till randomly he said “daddy makes mommy sad” when he was like 4. You mentioned you and your partner were fighting so maybe this is what the kids are referring to? I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty. Hearing my son say that to me really changed my thinking. But as others have said, social services typically yea won’t be taking kids from you unless they find a real reason. I have also heard they have a time frame in which to close cases and they try to do that within the time. If you cooperate with them all should be fine. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this

I’m a social worker and children can not be ‘removed’ due to shouting - unless of course there was a much bigger issue, if there’s no other concerns they’ll probably just discuss how you can all communicate better without shouting! Xx

@Jodi my kids wasn't around this. This was on the phone when they where not with me. I do shout and I really shouldn't I no that. But when it's 10/11pm and they still are not asleep yes I do raise my voice . Yes I work with them amazingly last time and they mentioned this in a meeting. I did everything and eveb suggested and ask for thing. Like this time round I said I can't get over what I went through and I need help.

@Cass aww thank you hun. Like I've said I'm so worried. And because previously we was on a CP plan because of DV I'm also worried.

@Jodi I've made them both a promise that I won't shout when it gets too much for me. There only kids at the end of the day and I need to rem this.

Maybe ur naibers complained cos they think u are fighting cos u laud🤷‍♀️ we can't handle it sometimes I'm also a laud person my husband also gets bad with me but I also just is laud just when mine kids don't listen aswell it's not easy really it's not ,I really hope they understand where u are coming from as a mother cos sometimes we are a little laud with them when they don't listen.

@Hazal listen I’ve been there and done that and the regret has a hold on me. We’re all trying our best and when we aren’t properly supported it shows. I hope everything works out for you

@Daniella my neighbours didn't complain. The reason for the social worker visit wasn't because of that. I went to the police station wanting to talk to someone because of my aneixey because of an argument with the kids' dad that i had on the phone with him, and it made me feel a way as I couldn't control how it made me feel like I was out of sorts and felt like I couldn't breathe. They referred me to social services . And when she had a chat with the kids and she asked questions, That was one of their responses

I've had social services involved in the past due to DV and more recently I've worked with them as a foster parent /adoptive parent. Social services can be very good they can also be very difficult that being said they aren't always nieve they will understand that things can be loud and overwhelming for children. Shouting at times is totally normal as said above they will take everything in consideration. They will also talk with nursery or schools etc Don't panic the fact your worried says your a good mum x

Aww thank you. Yes I'm not worried about them contacting the school etc but it just because I was previously on a CP plan and they did say when I was coming off it. If you feel a way about anything go to the police so I did take there advice

@Hazal from what you've shared i wouldn't be concerned . No family is always calm and quite overall they can be noisy , chaotic but full of love. They will talk to the school and if they don't raise concerns I highly doubt they will be to worried .. Child in need plan may put in place or early help team but child protection because it can be loud and shouting is highly unlikely x

@Fliss - Zaza No I've spoken with the school already and they said already there no concerns at all. Yes exactly it full of love they are very well cared for and loved. I did ask for help like some sort of support so I no prb it will be a cin