SAHM’s without a job who is getting your husband a Christmas present.. are you using your “joint account” aka his money to get him a present orrrr? 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s our money so I buy him whatever I want. He would be upset if I used birthday money I got on him.

I use our joint account but I pull money out throughout the beginning of the year so when his birthday( Dec 24th) and Christmas roll around he’s not able to see what I got him and for how much.

@Essie 🇺🇸 lol fair enough that’s cute though

@Essie 🇺🇸 do you add money into the joint account too with your money you got for your birthday or is that money strictly yours?

@Lorri🌱 I see. Does it ever feel like you’re getting him gifts from his earned money from work though? I ask this because I don’t see gifts as a necessity and I’m just genuinely curious how sahm’s go about gifts for birthdays/xmas. Let’s say hypothetically his birthday rolls around and you wanna treat him out for dinner. Are you then using the joint account as well?

I am working, and my husband is not. He 100% needs to use the joined/our money for the gift. I work a paying job while he works for the house. Of course, if the gift is above x amount, then I would prefer He consults with me.

I’m starting to wonder what I’ll do next year when I won’t have my own money so I’m going to start saving some of my maternity pay each month so I can use that next year

Not a stay at home mom, we both work, but we have a joint account, so any gifts we ever get eachother (or anyone for that point) is from that account or a credit card that gets paid from that account. Of course if either of us is going to spend over a certain amount, we let the other one know, but we trust eachother and know that neither is spending the money without a reason Isn't that the point of a joint account, though? either of you can use it for what you need? And if you have to use your birthday money (I'm assuming it was gifted to you for your birthday), than it isn't really a gift and if my spouse used a gift to give me a gift I would feel bad. Could you take some money out through the year, or wither of you put some money every month into a savings account for gifts for the family, and parties? That way when you need to buy birthday gifts or have birthday parties for your kids, it could come from that account.

I'm a sahm, no traditional job, and in the 'join account is both of our money' club.. here's my take. Hubs works hard at his job, and earns money doing so, which goes into our shared account for everyone to use. I stay at home, but work hard to keep the kids happy and fed and the house clean. Staying home saves us money on daycare cost. We BOTH work hard, him for income and mine for our home. And both roles are valid and matter. So we use our family's money for gifts, because it's our money, not just his.

I use the joint account. I don't get a whole lot of birthday/Christmas money but he wants me to use that for stuff for myself. And he gets upset if I try to use it for clothes. Me being a sahm was a decision we made together. So if he wants gifts it comes from the joint account or he isn't getting any 😅

I take money out the joint account each month and put it in my account so anything that's a gift from me comes from that account, any gifts from both of us comes from the joint account.

Yeah we only have our account so it’s all technically his money lol. But we do have a budget for like him and for me. And we used separate Amazon accounts and like target accounts to shop so we won’t see the others gifts

I don’t have “my money” but if I did get some money for my birthday or something I’ll usually use that for me unless we have no money and the kids really needed something

@Amy of course not. Before I got married I had a trust fund and a plethora of investments and stocks in my name. I’m lucky to still have it and regularly add my extra income to our bank so I don’t just see it as his money but instead our money.

I always get my husband gifts for the holidays and his birthday and I use the joint account that is filled with his money lol.

It’s our money. I’m not working for free just bc my job is to be home. He pays my salary as far as I’m concerned and with that I will buy him a gift. So joint account.

We always get eachother gifts but it's typically something for the house and then something small for just that person. Example this year my husband and I both got brand new vehicles so I got him a jump starter battery pack and a portable air compressor because we can both use that. He got me the Dyson vacuum I've been wanting FOREVER! Both gifts are things for the overall betterment of our home and family. And he got me a new ring dish for by the sink as my personal gift and I got him a new watch band.

@Amy it’s strictly mine. My dad, and both my husband’s sets of grandparents give us money for birthdays and we spend that on our self. The bank account is mine all of the credit cards are mine, I put him on my stuff,I’m in charge of finances he asks me if we are good lol he prefers it like that because before we were officially together he saw how I managed things as a single mom so he trusts me. I increased our credit score by 100 points this last year alone!

My husband always says it’s our money and I agree ☝️

When I became a SAHM our agreement was that I would use my savings/gifted money for anything I want and for gifts. We even split the cost of gifts I buy for our extended family. He would’ve been fine funding my fun stuff but I didn’t want that

The only money in my life at all is what my husband brings in, I spend it freely. Including gifts for him

He gets FULL access to EVERYTHING that I do in the house and for the kids. He gets to enjoy a clean house, clean laundry, cooked meals, fed and taken care of kids. I don’t limit him to just certain amounts of clean clothes per week or only 1 meal a day or clean kids only 3 days a week. I also don’t nickel and dime him on how many birthdays a month or activities I plan so that we can be involved with his and my family & friends… I can keep going and going but you get the point. His money is my money and everything I do he benefits from. I don’t buy his presents with HIS money, I buy his presents with money I fully earned and deserve. That’s the arrangement we made when we decided we gona “pay” me instead of babysitter. I also work more than him. He works 40 hours a week and gets evenings, nights, and weekends off and holidays. I work pretty much 24/7

You can always make him a special dinner or something that doesn’t cost a lot as well. It’s not about the money with us it’s about the thought and the time spent together that matters.

No. Every month since leaving my job my wife sends me money that I can spend on just myself. If I want to save it all and buy something expensive I can. So from like October to now I saved up and used that money to buy her a gift and to gift my closest friends something.

I tutor like an hour or two a week to bring in "fun" money, so I'd use that (this month he didn't get one paycheck because it went to a company stock thing, so we agreed no gifts for each other this year)

He doesn’t know what I do, he hardly checks the account lol. He has me doing the budget bc I’m good at it and he hates it, so yeah I get him a gift straight outta the regular old joint account and he never notices. Lol

We use a joint account and whats his is mine and vice versa. When i was working before we had the same concept too it keeps it easier for us personally and less conflict around money

I use the joint account, also the only account we have. If I didn't use the account I wouldn't be able to buy him a gift. And it's the only thing he gets all year bc he won't buy anything for himself unless it's a necessity

You are a one, not business partners. It's both your money

I use our money (the money he can earn because I care for our baby myself). So I use my money. My savings from before our baby is not moving from my account. I keep it for any emergency.

I have a small business I just started in October so I’ve used my profits from that to buy him presents

We have one account and it’s our money. As a full time sahm I work too…probably more hours than my husband in a full week. But anyways, I pull cash out but in September or October and buy him a gift.this way he can’t see where I went and speculate on said item. Same for his birthday. Late spring I’ll pull money out and get a gift for his mid summer birthday.

I use our funds which are generated by him via work .

@Ellina does he have any responsibilities at all with the kids? It doesn’t sound like it if he gets every evenings, nights, weekends and holidays Jesus Christ. If that’s the arrangement I don’t want it. Give me all your money & split the responsibilities at least haha

@Monica he gets special dinners every night lol and gifts are my love language. I love gifting people and seeing a smile on peoples faces.

@Chris very thoughtful of you to save the money that was gifted to you (to spend on yourself) to then spend on others ❤️

@Courtney oh dear 🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean if it works it works.

I personally really dislike your post. To target SAHMs WITHOUT an income and then say how it's not fair to use "HIS" money for regular spending (and let's be honest, it's regular because there are birthdays, anniversaries, holidays many times through a single year), at that point just think about what you're saying and why. Sounds like you came on here to put people down in order to bring yourself up and you can just take that sentiment and go somewhere else with it.

@Amy not sure how you got that narrative. When I said he gets all this time off, I was referring to his job, which is 40 hours a week. So then the rest of the time, he has other responsibilities just like I do. So I was saying that we both work for the money. I do 40hrs, he does 40hrs and then we do about 70%/40% the rest of the time because I do nights with the kid because of my husband’s medical condition.

@Stella at first, I didn’t think anything about her post, but reading her replies to people, definitely something is off

@Ellina gotcha

@Ellina it looks like she considers herself a SAHM for the time being, but it's not a lifestyle she's planning to live for much longer. And now she's coming with her short term approach to other people's life long lifestyles and not realising the nuance between the two 🫠🫠 but the ick I'm getting is that she thinks her way is better because she flat out said she thinks doing the opposite from what she's doing is "unfair". Just stirring the pot and it's unnecessary 🤦🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️ I hope you won't take offence, you're doing the hard work and I fully appreciate everything you've put on hold for your family and I really hope your children will thrive as a result. I hope your husband's medical condition will get resolved soon 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

The joint account.

I’m a sahm and my husband works full time.This year we decided instead of getting gifts for each other n guessing what to get we would just pick a day every week of December to go shopping n get stuff we both want. The first week we went to the mall got sneakers for all of us the same ones but different colors. This week we went yesterday he got a mic he’s been wanting which was the only thing he asked me for btw lol n I got some clothes n house stuff I found at a store I love. We figured it saves us the money n time of gift wrapping n decorating. Our lil one gets toys every time we go we not end up getting her a toy we like for her lol. Plus she about to be 2 and she won’t remember. One Christmas instead of opening gifts we are gonna put on matching pjs take photos ima make a big breakfast n watch a Christmas movie.

And yes it’s fair to use ya money. It’s not his it’s yours n his. I use our money to get him gifts for his birthday n decorations. This year I got him a couple of stuff a cake and decorations. Every year I buy decorations gifts and on Valentine’s Day I always make him a basket with candy he likes n stuff. I always put a card n diy gift too. It’s the thought that counts.

@Amy saying "I'm not trying to target anyone" after you've started the post with "SAHM's without a job" makes you look less than intelligent 🫠😵‍💫😅 It's not bringing me down because I've got a career to stand behind and a job to always go back to. So your sentiment can't hurt me. But it most definitely can hurt people whose life's purpose is being a stay at home mum+wife and they deep dive into it from the get go. How you're feeling about my comment, that's how I feel about your whole post. It's unnecessary and it's stirring the pot so if you don't like comments that are questioning your intentions, you should just delete it and refrain from posting things that put people down in the future. If you were interested to hear what other people were doing, you could have asked the question and been respectful of people who do things differently to you. But you chose to post this instead. Why?

Absolutely wild that your husband expects you to spend your birthday money on Xmas presents for him. You are married, you’re a team. The money coming is in joint! You shouldn’t be begging your husband for money he needs to make sure you always have what you need.

@Kathryn who said anything about my husband expecting me to spend my birthday money? How I choose to my spend my money whether it’s from investments, birthday, Christmas whatever is quite frankly up to me entirely. I think you’re making assumptions about my relationship that’s not at all the case?

@Amy You don't need to respond. I'm not looking for a back and forth with you, I shared my view to hopefully get you to rethink your post and just delete it. This post is unproductive and rotten from the get go. You should just delete it and free yourself from the unwanted notifications ☺️

You said it in your original post 😂 you do you. You asked for opinions and you got them!