BAD sleep - 2 year old

I will add he has never slept well from the day he was born. Bedtime and naps is something we’ve always struggled with and I thought I just had a child who hated sleep, as he gets older I see more and more adhd symptoms and learning that lack of sleep is one 🥲

He sounds very very much like my girl who is now 3. They think she has adhd. They never sleep!!! My girl is the same. She def needs a nap but refuses and fights sleep every night with excuses. She is in bed by 6.30 but don't sleep til 8 or 9. I'm now driving her around over lunch time for at least an hr in the car as that's the only way she sleeps. I also nought the audiibook called HOW NOT TO MURDER YOUR ADHD KID and learning sooooooo much from it. Highly recommend. Sleep coach told me to bring bedtime forward and have her in bed by 5.30 to sleep for 6. It works on the days she's not at nursery but 3x per week she is and then she only gets home for 5.30, then bath and dinner etc so doesn't work out. Another thing I do is explain exactly what is doing to happen and have a what's next board. It shoes bath, pj's, brushing teeth, reading books, nappy change or toilet then lights out. I bought a very visible timer that shows time running out and tell he if the alarm goes it's bed time.

The alarm goes off, I tell her I will switch off the light in 5, 4,3,2,1 off. I give her a kiss and leave and tell her il be back in 5mins. No matter if she screams or not, I wait outside then go back in 5mins later. Give her another kiss and say I'll be back in 10mina and again in 20mins. Usually by 10mins later she is asleep. Some nights works great, others we struggle. For adhd it's a constant battle and I've spoken to mom's with older kids who says the only thing that helps is melatonin. They don't give that to kids in the UK til age 8+ Good luck mamma. Hope this helps you.

@Ghitta I’ve been on a 3 hour walk before in the pushchair and he refused to sleep stayed awake the whole time, same as the car he’s wide awake in the car never sleeps in it. If he’s tired in the car he screams his head off until he gets out. I’ve never known a child to be so bad. The chart thing sounds like a good idea, where can I get one of these? I actually saw these sand timers of 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes etc I wasn’t sure if it was too early to use them. I try a 5.30pm bedtime with no nap but what happens is he’s so tired he’ll sleep and then wake up at 6.30pm crying and then 7.30pm wide awake and stays awake until 11pm/12am.. this is exactly what happened again last night and I’m just so tired, he still woke up another 2 times after 12am😭. I can’t function with it. I’m getting no time to myself, I can’t get any washing done, I can’t tidy up, I’m not being able to shower and wash my hair. I feel disgusting.

@Ghitta that sounds like the Ferber method I tried that when he was 1 and it created bad separation anxiety and then sleep became even worse 🥴. He’s in a toddler bed so he can get out whenever he wants, I find he is just getting up and coming into my room wide awake so I tried to close the door completely but he had a huge meltdown and I was scared he might hurt himself some way so I ended up going back in for a cuddle but I still had to wait another 3.5 hours for him to fall asleep. Just lays there eyes wide open chatting to himself but if I leave the room he cries and follows me. Omg age 8😭 I’ll be dead by then with this night routine. I feel like I need to get into a strict routine but I can’t because his behaviour is so so challenging, just getting a nappy on and getting him dressed burns me out and I give up for the day. I have no energy left after fighting that. Sometimes it can take me up to an hour just to put clothes on him.. I think I have absolutely no idea how to cope