I most definitely have moments when I just can’t control my feelings either. Much better to do it in private than accidentally scaring baby or something. I’d seek out a therapist, it sounds like you need to vent with an unbiased opinion. Mom life is hard and nobody knows what you have to deal with all day so shutting down your feelings isn’t cool on those peoples’ part :( I’d suggest asking for somebody to take the baby for a while so you can get some much needed rest. And don’t worry about the paci being dropped on the floor, I do it all the time. Obviously if it falls on the floor outside my home I clean it but I’m sure you have nice floors so don’t stress too much haha. I, too, have a particularly difficult baby and couldn’t imagine trying to do it all alone. If I were in your shoes I’d most likely 100% be doing things and feeling the same way as you. Sending strength your way, you got this 💪🏻
Why isn’t the dad helping ? You are not a bad mom, you did the right thing about letting your frustrations out away from baby (who wouldn’t be frustrated after 5hrs non stop unsettledness?) so please don’t be hard on your self.. but the dad, he is the one who is a very bad parent, you are vulnerable and NEED him and he’s not there for you and your baby. And if your family member heard you why didn’t they come earlier to help you instead of waiting until you let your frustration put to come help? Most Mothers who are happy with motherhood have husbands who we good fathers and other support system. This is on your husband, he should step up and be there as a husband and as a father
If no one else will tell you I will you did the right thing by going in the bathroom and letting your anger out it’s definitely a whole lot better than taking it out on baby I’m sorry the people in your life are so shit I hope you can leave that guy and stop living with the family member it’s hard being a mom and no one understands but us you’re doing a great job mama I’m proud of you and you should be proud of yourself❤️