Feeling overwhelmed, was I at wrong?

My husband has been going through health anxiety /depression. I’ve been supporting him the last few months. I also have two young kids which all the responsibility is currently falls on me also go work. So my husband was saying we will need to eat red meat today or tomorrow and we should plan the day. (He also has health anxiety about food). We go in-laws every weekend, so I asked him if we will be going over today as if we are not then I’ll need to defrost. But this somehow started making him stressed. He also did a lot of searching on Google and he is currently not allowed as it causes him excess worry about his health. Anyway he was saying red meat must be eaten once a week as that’s what someone told him. So I was like let me check if it’s actually true. So he got triggered saying I’m causing him stress so he doesn’t want to be here. I feel shattered as feel like I’m always waking on egg shells, and whatever I say seems to be wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that but honestly I’m so tired and sometimes I don’t have the energy to think about simple things before I say

Show your support

And just now he was sitting right behind the living room door, so I opened it and it him. So the blame is on me again. I asked him why he was sitting behind the door and he was like there’s kids the house it could’ve been them sitting. So you need to open the door slowly. And just kept going on about it … so I just had to leave the room as was gonna start crying. And I can guarantee he’s gonna comment on why I I left like that too

Has he saw anyone about this? It sounds like it’s at the extreme levels where he needs help or therapy. I would probably try and just go along with what he says rather than question it etc because if his mind has settled on what he needs to do then throwing the possibility of that maybe not being the case will probably stress him out and he’ll need to then start doing more research etc. unless it obv can harm anyone I would just go along with it and stay silent in his decisions xx

@Hayley he will be starting therapy soon but unfortunately it always takes a long time. So he’s on a waiting list Yeah honestly that’s what I’ve been doing. But this one was just a slip

Idk… this is giving vulnerable narcissist aka covert narcissist… cuz it’s one thing to have anxiety it’s another to make you feel the way you do. And honestly you feeling like you are walking on eggshells is a big narcissistic red flag to me… like who is creeping by the door like that making you feel that way? Anxiety doesn’t make you sit on the door creeping on your partner causing them anxiety… also saying you are triggering him cause you are causing him stress like what? Why is he playing the victim to you when you are trying to help? … and whatever you say is wrong? I highly doubt that… that’s another thing narcissists do- the constant doubting of yourself… saying you shouldn’t say anything? So making yourself small by holding back to put his comfort over your own doesn’t help you… it hurts you in the long run…

@Lyss are you a mental health professional? Why are you diagnosing him with being a narcissist? Do you know him? Where did you get all that from? She never mentioned that he was creeping on her by being behind the door, but now you qualify him as a creep. The lady is worried and is going through something like that with her husband, and your response is to make all these assumptions and calling him a narcissist based on one post, you don’t know him or the situation fully. You are a very unhappy person, you never say anything positive or helpful, I believe you have a hidden agenda.

Sounds like he is struggling quite badly, I am saying this as a mental health professional and as someone who suffers from health anxiety. He is caught in the loop of anxiety, wanting constant reassurance (from Google and you) but the reassurance is short lived and is actually making things worse, reinforcing the anxiety loop. Glad he is starting therapy, and medication would maybe be a good shout, too. I recommend the the app and the book DARE (DARE response). He can self help until starting therapy. As for you, it must take a big toll on you, it must be very difficult as you feel like you can't help although trying your best and somehow being made the trigger too. I think maybe try and focus on the fact that this isn't personal, he must be trigger by the smallest thing and it is not you as a person. I would maybe have an open chat when you are both calm and tell him that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed as you see him struggling and make him understand that you are there for him and doing your best

@Rose I never said I diagnosed anyone. I said it sounds like and I give a list of things that I felt were red flags. Because sometimes when you are so close to something you might need an outside perspective on something. Something that you might have missed living in it. And OP came onto a public social media platform asking for advice. And so I gave my 2 cents. You can take it or leave it. Idc. My only “secret” agenda is to help educate people on narcissistic abuse because I have a lot of insight on it through experience. And I am not negative. I’m a realist. 2 different things. I see things for what they are and I don’t sugar coat. Doesn’t mean I won’t admit when im wrong but again I read what op said I broke down my reasoning for everything I said. I don’t need to repeat myself. If I’m wrong I’m wrong but if I’m right then I gave some things to look into cuz at the end of the day having the knowledge of narc abuse is better then not just in case.🤷🏻

what is “health anxiety”? like he has actual physical health problems that he’s having anxiety about? or is it like a munchausen syndrome type of thing?

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