Losing friendships

Is it possible she is struggling with fertility or some issue that makes it hard for her to see you and your baby? It is odd if you were so close beforehand x

@KatherineThanks for replying! I know, I’ve made my poor husband read through my messages to her since my son was born to make sure I haven’t gone on about him too much and asked about her life etc! No issues with fertility (she’s not in a relationship) but I know she’d love children in the future. She’s always been a lovely friend with no jealousy

She may just be hiding her jealousy well. I’ve been there and it is tough. I think you’ll just have to have an open discussion with her. Would you be able to spend some time with her without the baby being there? x

I would try extend the invitation for her to be more present without making it confrontational. Invite her round and she what happens. A few of my friends have ‘backed off’ a bit because they believed I was too busy, or needed to rest etc because of having a baby, and they didn’t want to burden me by setting up visits etc. I’d try it that way first, before having a heart to heart :)

I had pretty much the exact same situation only in my case she went one step further and started getting upset that I wasn’t constantly checking in on her. Just to note she didn’t check in on me once. I dropped her because I can’t be dealing with the stress and drama that brings into my life on top of being a ftm. I need people that are there for me and can support me not people that make me more stressed and miserable. I have low tolerance for 💩 😂

Yes! I had 2 good friends and once I had my first baby they went cold 😔

The maternal instinct is so strong that I believe it can take over and control your rational thoughts. It would be my guess that your friend is hopelessly jealous and that’s such a difficult sad feeling to contend with. She loves you and won’t want to lose you as a friend, it’s hard for you but just focus on your baby drop her messages from time to time and arrange to go out perhaps without the baby. She will get used to the situation it’s just time…

@Katherine absolutely, I’ve seen a few friends without my son (lovely to have a break for an hour or so haha). Thank you xx

@Megan thank you! Good idea, face to face is always best to avoid misreading messages etc! X

@Meile Sorry you went through that lovely! It’s tough but 100% agree that you need people that’ll support you especially after having a baby x

@Bianca it’s honestly so sad 😔 something I could never had predicted before my son was born! You just assume that people you love will also love your baby. Hope you’re ok x

@Laura yep I think all I can do is text from time to time and she if she replies x

Ask her up front about why she’s done this.. 100%

I have been honest with my friend about only seeing my 7 month old once and I have gotten nothing back. I’ve tried to see her two girls and it’s like she won’t let me. I feel you, we’ve been friends 13 years and now nothing. Feel free to message me x

Yeah I get this. My 2 best friends have seen my son once, and 3 times despite me saying we are always free, they can see him whenever and suggesting we meet up. I've seen them by myself for dinner etc which is obviously great! I completely get that they don't want to see him all the time, as its nicer to meet up just as adults. The bit that gets me is that we will go out and they then tell me stories about their neices and nephews, ask for pictures of my little boy, and claim they can't wait to see him for cuddles etc 🤷🏽‍♀️ x

I lost all of my friends when I became my mum because I couldn't be child free anymore. Their loss. I've learnt not to care and the ones that are around me now are the real friends.

@Amy so confusing! Definitely a part of motherhood I had no idea about!