Back to work
Please can someone give some advice. I should have gone back to work 2 months ago but I’ve been off sick with extreme anxiety as I can’t leave my baby. I’m only returning part time and my husband would look after her but it’s dawned on me that I think that’s what is giving me anxiety. If she was being looked after by my mum I think I would be fine. I don’t trust him and I don’t know how to change that. He’s a great dad but he’s just not as alert as me! He’s so laid back that I just can’t help but worry he’d do something stupid like leave the room when she’s eating or not be paying attention and she gets hurt by the dog. I don’t know how to approach this with him but equally I need to go back to work financially. He’s also more than happy to leave her to cry for a few minutes whereas I’m not, hate to think of her upset and not understanding why I’m not there 😢
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It's understandable and, I would suggest, common to feel this way. I, too, have experienced similar anxieties, but your husband's approach isn't inherently wrong; it's simply different, and that's perfectly acceptable. Believe me, things improve as you allow him to handle things. Begin gradually if that feels more comfortable, and increase your trust over time. Based on your description, unless there are serious concerns (such as abuse), it's primarily a matter of lowering our defences and having a bit more faith in our men - they do okay and it's helpful i found for them to mature a bit. 🫂 Now my husband talks about routine and plans ahead!
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Has he looked after her alone a lot? Starting to leave her with him for 1, 2, 3 hours etc might help. I find my husband does so much better when he is fully in charge of her rather than when Im home and ‘hovering’ as he sometimes feels like Im judging him. He could really pleasantly surprise you. Also its okay for them to cry sometimes for a few minutes, even as the mother I have to do this sometimes, if shes crying for food or milk I have to make it for her, or if Im in the shower and need a few mins. As long as she is safe, a couple of mins wont harm her.