To have a second or not?

Following

I'm on my second and although the fear exists this time it's not the same as I know it won't last and that I can get through it this time. I also know what I will and will not do now. You can message me if you would like 💗

I found the second time around was much easier. For me, sleep is key. My anxiety was super high the first time around but thankfully the second time my mom came over to allow me to nap. If your husband can schedule in regular naps for you when he’s available, maybe that will help you too? I needed anti anxiety meds the first time around…had them on hand for the second but they were unneeded.

I am totally and I mean totally in the same boat. It almost feels like I wrote this. It is so hard because I don't want to have bad postpartum in front of my daughter; she is 3. I also feel like what if the second ruins my bond with my daughter. It is soo hard to make that decision. Feel free to reach out maybe we can help each other :)

Wow I feel like I could have written these exact words. My daughter is almost 2 and I keep going back and forth on having a second or not.

I’m 10weeks postpartum and I also was terrified of the ppd and ppa that I experienced with my first. My husband and I had a plan to make it better this time. - we hired a midwife and doula to have a more personal experience through labour and then in my postpartum stages. We are definitely not loaded, however this is an expense I could justify it and I wouldn’t take back. – I followed the 555 rule. that was really helpful to me because it relieved any expectations of me doing anything around the house and allowed me to just completely bond and sleep and heal with my baby. – I meal prepped like crazy to prepare for birth because that is one way that I did not prepare in my first and it really stressed me out needing to cook and provide for my family every night. I filled my freezer with meals that could be bulk like lasagnas crockpot meals, but also snacks and lactation goodies

I met the character account… Ha ha ha ha so part two? I also spoke to those around me in my bubble like my mother-in-law my own mother my sister-in-law and told them that last time was really hard for me so they were able to pull through with helping me cook and taking my other son on little day trips

I struggled very bad with my first son with post partum. More than I realized when I look back. The only support I had was my mom at the time, my husband cheated on me as well when I was going through it. For my second son, the experience was night and day. I had a much stronger bond with my second and the maternal instincts that I had to really work on with my first were there since the start. But my experience the whole way through with my second was better too, the nurses were there to help me, doctors etc.

I did not suffer from ppd but don't have a ton of help. My husband and I also talk about the option of another child but were originally only planning on one. Your children bonding and being best friends is not a guarantee. I know many ppl that have only one sibling and they are not super close or sometimes don't even get along. Many children that are only children do just fine as long as they have friends and you ensure that you spend a good amount of time playing with them. I do know that when you have a new baby, you tend to miss a lot of your 1st child's events/new skills bc you are caring for a newborn. That is part of life but it can be part of the decision making also. Ultimately only you can know if you are up for it and if it's the right call for you.

Hi there. Like you I also went through severe ppd with my firstborn. It was really bad; I was suicidal, my marriage almost came to an end and basically the first year was bad. Like you, I also wanted to give my firstborn a sibling and so we had a second...even though I DID NOT want to go through the newborn phase again. When the second baby came, although the ppd wasn't as bad as before, this time it was a different kind of difficult: the first time is hard MENTALLY but second baby was hard PHYSICALLY. I had to (still have to) juggle myself with a baby and also give time to my toddler. I could no longer give my 100% undivided attention to my toddler and it caused massive mom guilt. I remember initially feeling like i had made a mistake. Before I spent all my attention on my toddler and did activities and we had a nice routine going on..now suddenly I found myself telling my toddler "give mommy 5 minutes I'm with the baby..." or even snapping at her because I was frustrated with the newborn etc. Continued **

Although the younger one is now 1.5 years old and its a bit easier..it's not as easy as it is with just one child...and this is coming from someone who had tons of help (in laws, parents friends etc)...so for you, who doesn't have any help, you might want to really think it through. Don't have another one simply because you want your child to have a sibling. Are you able to give equal attention and resources to both? I'm an only child btw and from my experience I had a wonderful childhood and never felt like I lacked anything. Instead, I remember the great moments my parents spent with me and the childhood experiences. That's all I'll say. If you want to ask more feel free to dm me!

@Preeti thank you, I REALLY appreciate your response! Especially speaking as a single child. That really helped