Just a rant. My son is 2

I feel like a terrible mother. I feel like I am not raising my son in the best way possible. My depression, my low energy, my ability to fight is..just.. gone. My narc husband, my narc father, my grandmother, my siblings all paint this picture of me or make me feel as if I am unfit to raise my son. Because, i have Bpd, my son got bit by my fathers dog twice while on vacation. On both occasions it was on my watch. First time, ran in my dads room, called him out he didnt come. waited, the dog was under the bed my son wanted to play. Second time. We are in the living room. Son playing with a ball. im standing watching him. they both went behind me. Got bit during the process of looking for his ball. I am also too strict and i discipline him too aggressively so my husband doesnt let me discipline him or set boundaries. I feel like giving up because no one respects me enough to listen. its a lot and if i start defending my son and myself. I am considered having a mental episode and being dramatic.

Show your support

What is considered by them as disciplining too aggressively?

Whats considered to aggressive to them ?

@Ciara No screen time, no toys, no comfort, just sit, when he is screaming no and trying to hit me i give him two licks on the hands and be like not nice. we dont hit mommy in a very mean voice that my husband does not like. im not yelling but like you can tell im upset. or like flick his mouth because he does spit. He thinks during time out he should have toys or at least watch tv when he is in trouble. which i dont think is right.

I dont think a child should have luxery during time outs either. Spanking him on the butt would probably be a better option rather then slapping the hands or flicking the mouth. But thats just my thoughts. Maybe even try time out. I know it can be stressful when finding punishments for a two yr old as they do not understand. I sit my 2.5 yr old in his crib or bed and close the door if spanking him on butt does not work.

So you’re trying to teach him not to hit by hitting him? Think about it, that makes NO sense.

Also any sort of spanking not only teaches a child that violence can be acceptable when it should not be, but research from Harvard shows: “We know that spanking is not effective and can be harmful for children’s development and increases the chance of mental health issues. With these new findings, we also know it can have potential impact on brain development, changing biology, and leading to lasting consequences.” https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

@Ciara Yeah. I did the whole positive language thing and constant repetition but he literally laughs at me and thinks im playing when im not. Im not spanking him how my parents did. omg that trauma but like enough to get the point across. I always ensure the punishment matches the behavior and check myself to make sure I am not over reacting. psychology and sociology both contributed to a persons growth. not all one sided. yes there is merit to the study. not denying.

@Ciara Learn by talking doesnt seem to work. Its like ok. you do me this way understand how it feels. if you dont like it then dont do to others. He doesnt like it when i play with his ears. but he plays with mine and i dont like it. eventually he understood dont touch moms ears.

Yes but he is a toddler. He’s basically a baby. His brain is not fully developed to understand rationale. You are responding to hitting with hurting your child. That is a confusing message to him.

@Ciara each toddler is different. in this case my son does understand others very well. especially for a 2 year old.

Ok, justify your violent behaviour. It’s a form of child abuse that has been proven is ineffective and can have long term repercussions on the child, and I’m glad your husband doesn’t agree with it.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌