I need help, plans or ideas to avoid my MIL stealing Christmas joy.

So MIL is narcissistic, very self centered. And thinks she has some sort of claim of my 6 months old. For example after birth they visited and never asked how i was or how birth was. she just made it all about her being a grandma and the things she made him and couldn’t stop talking about it. Also other example is right after birth they video called and then my husband put the camera on me and all what they said was ok we see her but we want to see the baby. Anther example is when we visited them and my baby was 2 months old she kept inviting people to meet him and gave me zero notice and once they are in the house she would come and grab him to show him off. My husband talked to her about this then she played victim started crying and saying I am trying to take this moments from her and I am causing too much stress in the family and I am having too many rules. Now we’re going in Christmas and I don’t know how to avoid her and make sure she doesn’t steal moments without losing my cool. Ps if i say I want him back she will say no if i say he needs a feed or change she will see he looks fine. If i take him anyway FIL says mother is jealous! It’s so tricky.

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Baby wear all the way, that’s your baby, not hers, it’s RSV season, doesn’t matter how old a baby is, it’s causing stress for baby too taking away from the mum all the time. It’s not excuses, it’s facts, she had her time to have kids, nowadays your time. Tell her to respectively back off, narcissists for you sweet. hope your xmas goes okau hun xxx

I don't know how to help because I'm in an extremely similar situation. Set your boundaries and hold them (something I'm practicing). If your husband is on your side, that's leaps and bounds ahead of what some other daughters-in-law are dealing with.

My MIl was the same! I just took baby back anyways and let them say what they wanted. The only that worked was my husband going off on them and then he told them he didn’t want to see them for awhile so they didn’t see us for 6 months. For immediate situation- baby wear her. Don’t let them take her from your hands (I may or may not have once told my husband if they tried that I would call the cops on attempted kidnapping). MIL get weird.

Wear the baby. Be clear to your partner about boundaries and what is expected and acceptable, it’s important that he backs you up on this specially because the problem is on his side of the family. You are the baby’s mom, you have the final word. Don’t be afraid of creating discomfort with MIL, it seems like the whole relationship is already not the best considering how she treats you. Good luck and happy holidays

I wouldn't be going for Christmas, I thought my MIL was bad but yours sounds worse. I would just take my baby back if she won't give him back, and if they say they are jealous just say "yep that's me" would probably shut them up. I completely sympathise though, as I'm not looking forward the Christmas at my in-laws, they want to do Xmas their way that means Santa delivers all the presents to their house even though we aren't staying, she wanted to buy everything of my daughter's list to Santa, and I know full well she will try and take over

@Kath yes! It’s incredibly annoying. It’s like they want to relive this moment through our children. Even if that means the mother gets skipped. I have told my husband many times my problem with your mom that she wants to be my son’s mother rather than grandmother. She wants to claim him. Have the authority, be the expert. And she is desperately trying to prove to the people that she’s a good grandmother! It makes me sick how fake it is. She yelled at him when he was 5 weeks old. “ no you CANT cry you are with grandma. So toxic behavior.

I cut my MIL out. Christmas will be nice and peaceful. 😌

People are going to say what they like. Just take your baby anyway, it’s your baby. Remind yourself that it’s just a short period of time and you will leave that place. Try to cut the tile as short as you can get away with.

Do we have the same MIL?? Sounds exactly like mine😂 I told mine that she’s not entitled to anything and she’s responded with “it’s not entitlement it’s called being excited about being a grandparent” Honestly I’d put my foot down if I was you. Tell them that if they do not respect you or your boundaries for YOUR child then they don’t have to be apart of y’all’s life’s

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