Thoughts about the Angel Tree drama

Considering the kids on those trees are usually asking for things like socks, hoodies, sneakers and sometimes a toy or two I think you should try to stick to it. No kids want essentials for Christmas unless they don't have much

I was angel tree kid and there were plenty of Christmases when my angels couldn’t fulfill my whole list. Now mind you, I never asked for items over $20; I know some of these angel tickets had $400 items on them, but I knew that not everyone had a ton of money to blow on other people’s kids so every year, my mother and I were tearfully grateful. If these angel families are going to tell people to not bother picking up their tickets if they aren’t going to fully fulfill them, then their kids may not get anything at all.

I believe the gifts should be exactly what they asked or at least similar. You do not have to pick a letter that has apple products or high end tickets if you don’t want to buy it. Grab a letter that you feel comfortable doing. I think there is entitlement to think that a family should receive what you think is necessary other than what they asked. Gives me superiority vibes 🤷🏻‍♀️

The real drama that I'm curious about is, does Angel Tree really take gifts away from kids in order to distribute them evenly? So all the gifts I picked and purchased for the kid I pulled might not go to him? Whaaattt? I think it's a mix of both, though, for your question. I saw this one lady complaining because someone bought mostly clothing items for their kids instead of toys. They got toys, obviously, but there was more clothes than toys. And it was necessary clothes like boots, jackets, etc. Clothes must have been on the list so I don't understand why they're complaining about getting what they asked for? But then I saw another mom who genuinely did get really crappy things from Angel tree (I recognized the items, they were dollar section items from Walmart, not what was on the list) and I get why she was sad. But, ultimately, I think complaining on social media isn't appropriate either 🤷‍♀️

I think there is a difference between not filling the list all together and then getting what you can afford off. I think if the child puts reasonable items on there and you completely go off that list and get what you think they want, then yeah you probably shouldn’t donate. But if you fulfill half the list and can’t buy a couple things then sure donate. It’s not about what we want for the child, this is so their Christmas is happy and fulfilled.

@Grace I’m realizing how nuanced this is. For example, I saw one video where the lady was upset that the doll her Angel got wasn’t Barbie, just some other brand. I thought it was poor form to knock it because what if the Angel isn’t in the best financial situation either, but strived to make sure that there was a kid getting something for Christmas who otherwise may not have. I believe there is validity to both sides but I think it is an interesting case study in consumerism.

I'm conflicted. On one hand, be grateful for the help you receive. On the other hand, do not offer help where you cannot properly give it. I think some of the complaints have been nitpicky, like asking for an apple ipad and receiving an off brand tablet. But some of the complaints are much more valid, like people completely ignoring the lists and just getting what they think would be good (I saw a tomboy child whose tag said no pink, the gift giver bought her all pink unicorn items).

My kids were on the cps angel tree this year and got nothing we asked for them to get. But the kids still played with everything they got. And have enjoyed playing with almost every toy they got. So, for me, it's not about what they received. It's about the joy it brought my kids. And they have loved playing with the toys.

@FairyMother 🦖🌸 I agree. Yeah, if someone can't afford it then probably shouldn't participate but maybe that person would like to help even a little. On the other hand I do find it ungrateful for complaining about getting a doll that is not a Barbie or getting a tablet that isn't an apple. Or the one that complained about too much clothing. I mean, growing up if someone gave us new clothing we were thrilled!! I'm from a poor family, my parents did their best to make sure we've got everything even if it meant second hand most of the time. So coming from that situation I found some of the complaints weird.

I believe when you have nothing you should be grateful and I speak from experience. There were things my kids asked for which I couldn't afford and I told them. There response at 6 and 7 was, we are grateful we have presents!

I’m torn. I think a wish list is just that. A wish. And they should not expect to get everything they ask for because no one does. But I’ve seen ones that have needs and then wants. So I think they should get all the need and maybe the majority of the wants.

I’m curious: do you need to meet a criteria to be added to this tree? (Income etc) or could anyone sign themselves up? If it were me and I did not receive what was expected, or exactly what was asked for, or less than…..I couldn’t find it in myself to complain. Because I’d be up on that tree because I had to be and has absolutely nothing to give my children. Therefore I would be grateful that a family took care of mine the best THEY could.