Partner preferring bio son over daughter

Hi, I have a daughter (2) with my fiance and a stepson who is 13. Today at Christmas dinner my fiances mum pointed out that stepson was winding up my bio daughter by drawing ugly photos of her and saying look that’s you. My partner laughed when this was mentioned at the table, the conversation then got on to how the first 5 years of a child’s life are critical to forming personality traits, my stepson said oh surely she wouldn’t be like that forever.. getting digs at bio daughter. My fiance laughed again and I said we really should not be saying negative things towards a 2yo. The conversation then turned to my daughter’s DOB. My fiance confidently said she was born in 2021 (she was born in 2022) and then got stepsons DOB correct. I was really hurt by this as she is my only bio child and we went through a lot whilst I was pregnant/postpartum. I got upset about this and he told me to fuck off. What do you all think about this? Am I being dramatic, I don’t even know anymore 🥲

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Not dramatic at all. From what you've said here, my opinion is that you're totally in the right

I understand what you are saying. I have a 13 year old step son and a 2 year old son & 13 year old often makes comments about the 2 year old which I don’t like. Sometimes I say something then other half gets protective I will just say let’s be nice shall we…. Things like that. He shouldn’t be telling you to F off that is rude and he should apologise to you for that. I wouldn’t accept that x

@Rosie thanks for your reply. I actually think I’m more hurt at him forgetting my daughter’s DOB but remembering stepsons. I had a horrendous time postpartum and looking back my fiance done so many things wrong by putting stepson first. In the hospital he pressured me to leave so he could be back for stepson and then I haemorrhaged once I came home. I think this is why it has hurt me so much. It’s our only child we share together and he can’t even remember her DOB 😥 would your partner remember both DOBS? X

I think he’s being extremely rude and disrespectful. I’d be asking him what he’s reaction would be if a stranger said these things to her

I hear what you are saying. Look after yourself, don’t feel pressured by him advocate for yourself n little one x my other half is the same in lots of ways it’s just habit and the first born, I wouldn’t hold the dob thing against him tho I’m often doing things wrong with my memory plus let’s be honest men generally are useless 🤷🏻‍♀️ I remember going for my first scan pics with other half and all he talked about was the firstborn and compared it all to him & it annoyed the hell out of me as this was my first n first experience I wanted with him but had to check myself because his done it before & had to remain patient & understanding plus with the mind everyone is different & I swear my other half is undiagnosed on the spectrum which makes certain behaviour a certain way x have to take the pros with the cons x

I wished my brother a happy 2023 on his Xmas card this year 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ps my dad doesn’t know my dob he had to ask what day my bday was next week lol 😆 to get it right x

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