Grief during pregnancy

I’m so sorry to read this Emma. She will live on through you and your wondrous tales of your grandmother. You are a wonderful and loving mother before you baby is even here. ✨

Hi, so sorry to read about your loss. I also lost my gran a couple of weeks ago in my second trimester and it’s really difficult. It doesn’t make it any easier but when people are old or ill, I believe they know when it’s their time to go and they make peace with that. She’ll be looking down on you and just remember her reaction when you told her about baby. I’ve also noticed that in my family a baby is often born not too long after someone passes away. It’s a coincidence but I look at it as in the older generation making way for the new one 💙 if it helps, look out for the little signs that your grandmother is still with you. They’ll be around and may bring some comfort in these dark times xx

Hey 👋🏻 My little boy is 10 months old now. During my pregnancy I lost my nan and grampy, 3 months apart. I was extremely close to them and did a lot for them. I felt a lot of guilt when my son was born as I felt I’d put the pregnancy aside, which was likely a grief reaction. I was healthy and looking after myself where possible, but felt I didn’t connect the way I should’ve during pregnancy. However my son and I have the best bond now. I am so sorry for your loss and truly empathise with what you’re going through. It’s traumatic, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel 💫 I still cry about my grandparents often, I’ve lost a maternal and paternal figure. But I am sure they’re all looking over us and are proud of the mothers we have/will become 🥰

So sorry to read about your loss. Please do not worry about grieving affecting your baby. I lost my sister in law to suicide during the start of my third trimester and suppressed a lot of feelings as I worried about what it might do to the baby. This meant all these feelings came out when I had my baby boy. It’s definitely a good idea to talk to someone to work through your grief as I wish I had done so xx

@Yog Thank you so much, those are extremely kind words which I truly appreciate. I am naturally a bit of a worrier and as I'll only get one chance to grow the little human inside me I just want to make sure I do it right so grief guilt has been a little hard to manage + the hormones don't help ❤️

@Catherine Thank you for sharing your story, so many things you've said ring true for me. She wanted to go towards the end but she would sometimes talk to me as if she was going to last until our baby came. She so wanted me to have a child for years but I wasn't ready and the year it happens she leaves. I have a lot to share with my little one in her memory as will you. I feel your pain, I lost her just over a month ago and I keep a candle in the hallway next to her picture which I light almost everyday and I even sometimes find myself talking to her when I'm alone. Thank you for your words of hope and encouragement, sending big hugs your way ❤️

My husband was diagnosed with tongue cancer 15th November and for 3 weeks during the screening stage to see the extent I was feeling absolutely horrendous.. the thoughts I was having were unreal. We found out it's localised thankfully, he has his surgery early January and I give birth February via c section. Going to be a tough few months but hopefully cancer will be gone. We all go through things in life and being pregnant during it doesn't feel ideal but you did your best, you're allowed to feel things ❤️

@Becci Thank you Becci for sharing your story, I feel as if the phrase "when it rains it pours" hasn't ever felt so relevant as it has this year, the emotions are a rollercoaster! My partner also lost his Grandad 2 months before my Gran so we've been supporting each other through it but my hormones are tricky all the same. Your experience after giving birth is massively reassuring especially as our situations are so similar. I've had guilt over not doing pregnancy yoga, falling short on my pelvic floor exercises and not starting the pregnancy journal I bought ages ago due to feeling so low. I love my baby but I can't help feeling like I could've been better and I wish I was. Thanks again for your response, I feel less alone ❤️

@Stephanie Thank you Stephanie for sharing with me, your words and experience are so reassuring. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you're in a better place now ❤️

@Lucy Thank you for sharing Lucy, I can't even imagine what you're going through because I couldn't have gotten through the toughest times without my partners support. You're amazing! Thank you for your reassurance and taking the time out to reach out to me. Sending you love and good wishes ❤️

I lost my nan 2 years ago while I was pregnant. It's hard, but you won't affect your baby unless you stop taking care of yourself.

@Ellie Thank you Ellie for sharing, your perspective and experience is very reassuring ❤️

I lost my mum when I was 11 weeks pregnant with my first, she was my best friend the grief is HARD, and hard when baby is born it’s a whole different grief. I find keeping their memory alive helps. In the start I blamed myself ( a life for a life) and it took a lot to step back from that thought. You are allowed to grieve, ❤️ xx

I lost my grandad 19 days before I had my daughter to a brain tumour which was diagnosed 2 months before suddenly it was one of the hardest times I’ve ever faced in my life and the guilt I felt and still do now will probably live with me forever I cried and cried and cried more than ever before which I put also down to hormones but I just take some comfort knowing he knew I was pregnant and was pleased for us, when I had my moments now I remind myself he would want me to deal with my emotions as they come which I do my daughter is 1 now and I talk about him a lot I know she doesn’t understand but she will as she grows older. I also think sometimes little things she does reminds me of him weird some would say but it helps. To me I also suddenly realised how the circle of life does work. Xx

So sorry for your loss. I sadly lost my nan to lung cancer whilst I was 34 weeks pregnant and it was dreadful. Her funeral was 2 weeks before my due date so not only did I have the stress of losing my wonderful nan, but I also had the stress of maybe not being able to attend the funeral due to labor/new baby. I too also felt extremely guilty for my emotions and what it was doing to my baby. I always look back now and take comfort knowing she was so proud and really involved in my pregnancy. She knew my baby’s name, brought us gifts and even saw a 4D pic so it felt almost as if she had gotten to meet him. That was the hardest part, life was just so cruel to her and I felt and still do feel guilt that she didn’t meet him properly despite being sooo excited. However, I know she is watching down over him as his guardian angel. Grieving is just a part of life sadly and something you can’t avoid, but over time it does become easier x