My husband screamed at our baby

My 9 month old is going through a biting phase. It used to be that she just bit me, but recently she bit both my parents and tonight she bit my husband for the first time. He immediately pulled her off his shoulder and screamed at her and then stated "I don't want to play with you anymore". He then placed her on the floor on her tummy and pushed her away from him. Her arm was at an awkward angle and she started crying once he was done pushing her away. She immediately came to me and I comforted her while glaring at my husband. He then proceeded to ignore her the entire night. She kept looking at him and he kept his head buried in his phone. He's had a huge temper with me since she was born, but has always been good to her. I told him he needs to learn not to lose his temper like that. I really hated hearing him yell at our baby who is honestly so good. She doesn't understand yet that what she's doing hurts. I gave her a teething ring once she was in my lap and explained to her that she can bite this instead. I honestly don't know what the purpose of this post is other than to vent and ask what others have done when they realize their parenting styles don't match up with their partners?

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It’s very difficult when you both parent different. My husband has a short fuse and I end up yelling at him when he loses it with my kids (he’s never got angry etc when they were babies/toddlers). I don’t know how I’d handle it if my husband did that to my baby tho… I can’t cope when he loses it with my 11&12yr olds x

Your man needs to be psychologically checked, it’s not healthy to behave like that with a 9 month old, he needs some serious education about development, he clearly doesn’t have a clue about what your baby understands and what doesn’t. I’m sorry girl but I would go wild on him, he is behaving like a spoiled child that didn’t grow up.

Yeah that is not how you behave around a baby. The baby doesn’t know any better…. But he should know better, SMH. I’m sorry you’re going through this, did you try talking to him about it and expressing your feelings?

I just left my husband of 5 years for yelling at me in front of my kids. I would not tolerate this bullshit. That’s not just different parenting styles, that’s infant abuse.

Your husband needs anger management classes and therapy. YESTERDAY. It’s not ok what he did. Your BABY is 9 frickin months old! They have no awareness of biting and hurting others, it probably feels good on their gums due to teething. The fact a grown ass man screamed at an innocent baby does not bode well. He is displaying an ignorant understanding about babies/children and that is scary. This is quite serious Incog. He needs to seek help ASAP. If you stay, you and baby are at risk. I work in med neg field and have worked on cases where baby ends up dead/disabled due to being hit/thrown across the room. All things the men had in common? Serious anger issues which were ignored and escalated. Shouting at a baby is not a parenting style. It’s abuse.

He’d become single. He sounds like an a hole and not someone I’d ever let around my baby. I don’t understand who in their right mind could ignore and treat a baby like that? The silent treatment for a baby?… he’s weird and needs to go.

what felicia said.

Im sorry you're going through this :/ I would try to have a conversation with him to try to understand if he lost it in that moment or if he believes that's acceptable behavior. Once you know where he stands, you can come up with a plan to move forward. Easier said than done though, I would be furious and extremely hurt/ disappointed.

@Marian thanks. This is definitely where I am at right now.

My 8 month old son bit my nipple when I was feeding him and I yelled at him and he just looked up at me and cried. It broke my heart. But it was a trigger reaction. I have a toddler too so I’m used to having to raise my voice. It was a mistake, and I won’t do it again. We all fuck up sometimes, no one is perfect. If it’s a one off thing, let it go. If it continues, I’d address it

WTF 😳 she’s a baby! Sorry but I would have gone mad had that been my baby he acted that way towards wow The fact his had a temper with you since baby been born 🚩 and now acted like this towards a baby sorry but 🚩

@Sierra agree 💯

I remember when my little brother first bit me I yelled in pain and surprise and he cried of course (I was 17 and he was 6 months) but I quickly realized he’s just a baby and soothed him. The issue isn’t his initial reaction but that he remained angry about it and pushed her away. They don’t do it on purpose of course.

This behaviour isn’t a ‘parenting style’. It’s an unacceptable reaction to normal baby behaviour and sounds like he may need help and anger management. I don’t know how anyone could yell at or shove their little baby like that. And then ignoring her is simply childish. I would t be trusting him alone around her

Is he overtired? Had a long day at work? Something else bothering him? It’s no excuse, but it may help to understand what lead to him losing his temper or if it was simply a case of losing it. If he’s overtired, explain it’s not fair for him to take that frustration out on a baby that doesn’t understand so he needs to get more sleep. If he’s had a bad day, ask him to talk to you about it in future so that it doesn’t build up and affect his temper around the baby. If he has mental health issues like anxiety/ ADHD/ Depression, maybe he needs a review to check he’s getting the right support? Maybe a parenting class to help him understand where baby is at developmentally so that he understands? Just throwing out some ideas! xx

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