Found out my child downloaded tictok

What would you do?... in my situation. So she's 11. She's not allowed to have tictok. I found her downloading it in the past but she had no followers or anything so it has just happened and I deleted it. She didn't try again until now I suppose (months later). I haven't checked her phone in a few weeks but I did this morning while she was asleep. It's there and she hasn't posted anything but still it's not allowed. She has 246 followers somehow.. so I didn't just delete it this time I feel like I want to have her do it instead.maybe. I'm trying to decide. She is pda autistic and has been known to have huge meltdowns over being told what to do or being told she's wrong or anything authoritative going on. Usually I'll just bring something up when she is in a decent mood and then she gets grumpy and walks away but this is serious to me. She's not a brat or anything she has a literal condition here so I'm not looking to be judged for not losing it on her. I just wonder how I'm to handle this without a meltdown or if I should just delete it myself again and see what happens. There's like 50%chance she's gonna flip out and it's not a good day for it so whatever I do will be tomorrow. Any thoughts?

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If she was neurotypical, I'd have her delete it and take away the phone for a period of time as punishment. I have no idea how to handle the situation with a child with pda autism. Does she have a therapist or someone that is helping her manage her symptoms that you could ask for advice on how to handle this best considering her diagnosis?

I don't have experience, but I would probably just delete both her account and the app myself and talk to her about it afterward. I would also consider getting some kind of parental monitoring app on her device.

I'd just deal with the meltdown as it's about her safety as well as a punishment for her going against your wishes. Got to be cruel to be kind sometimes

From my experience as a teacher working with children with autism, I’d just use very direct language like “TikTok has things that can be harmful to you, and mommy has no way to stop you from coming across something that might confuse or scare you on that app. I’m going to delete it, and we’re going to talk about other alternatives that are safer for you to do. “ Something like that. Then offer alternative activities. It’s really tricky to navigate it and you have to be very firm about why it isn’t safe for a kid her age to be on a app like that A If she meltdowns do not give in and let her have it. Reaffirm to her the reason why she can’t , and if the meltdowns continue you may have to take the phone for a bit to show her that there is a consequence.

I have an 13 year old with ASD and I would explain, have her delete it and take the phone for a period of time. Learning to regulate and respect consequences and boundaries is still something we have to teach, neurodivergent or not.

@Nika you are right thank you!

@Xiomara E. Yes I've told her some serious things about it before. She always said I don't even want the app 🙄 lol or I know that mom lol. But it's true and she knows there's a good reason. I think she just wants to get her way and other kids her age have it

@Rhiannon oh your right I should have had her delete the account. I just had her delete the app. If she gets it back I 100% will do so

@Kelli yes thankfully she sees her therapist tmrw. And I emailed her therapist to give me a call and set up a family session soon as well. I need all the help I can get at times

Thanks everyone! I ended up getting her to delete it in front of me and leaving her phone with me for a few days. She was mad at me but luckily didn't start screaming. I told her if she pitched a fit I might have to disconnect the internet for a few days and I think it scared her 😅 I feel bad but so far so good 🤷‍♀️ went better than expected lol

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