Is something wrong with me?

Don’t know if it’s “toxic” certainly both need some help communicating better and thinking about whether you really see a future with your husband anymore

Silent treatment isn’t good behavior can be just as damaging as fighting

@Nire85 I ask myself this all the time but it isn’t a straight answer as we have a 2year old and one on the way. I take my marriage every seriously and in comparison with some of the more “serious” issues why people split like cheating and physical abuse our issues seem so small but yet so big.

I think that it’s a sign that there are deeper unresolved issues that ought to be addressed in the union that may not be being addressed imo and no I don’t think that it’s normal in a healthy relationship/ marriage imo

@Nire85 yes I know, it’s bad, sometimes I think he doesn’t even notice because I never stay mad for very long and that just gives him more time to play his video games and not have to do anything I ask him to do.

You guys need to start compromising on his game time for you to argue less so you can be less frustrated and he can be more active and help around the house more. The most frustrated mamas I see on here usually have a gamer partner that’s not putting in his fair share and that’s where the frustration comes from…if no compromise is done on when and how long he can game for…the arguments will keep happening. Focus on that first Xx we don’t really argue here I can’t remember a big argument in forever.

@Kellie communicating with my husband sometimes is like talking to a mirror. Either he listens and changes but only for a few days or he just immediately tells me to stop talking and claims I’m rude.

You could have an anxious avoidant attachment!

@Talia 🥰 interesting, what does it mean?

@Talia 🥰 I have just read about it and it sounds just like my husband and opposite of me.

@Anais I’m definitely defensive but not as bad as my husband is. I shut down because I can never win an argument, it mostly ends in him shouting and sometimes him calling me stupid so I just avoid the whole conversation.

Not normal - but I do it

He calls you stupid and calls you rude and tells you to stop talking? Wth. He should not be treating you like that you don’t deserve that and he’s being disrespectful. No wonder you can’t talk to him. Relationships should be a partnership and respected on both sides and be listened to. You’re being emotionally abused hunni I hope you can open your eyes and see that

@J 💃 glad it isn’t just me.

@Kellie I’m glad you said it because I know it. I didn’t go into much detail but his words definitely are abusive and it has caused me to shut down and not want to communicate as I use to. It’s so hard because we have tried the therapy thing and it didn’t work because I know he has some deep routed trauma from his childhood that has nothing to do with me but yet has everything to do with his response to life and causes him to be defensive with everything and everyone around him including his own family. It’s so hard because I love him so much, I have known him since I was a kid and we have been together 4years now. When he is good, he is so good! He cooks, takes care of me and our daughter but when he gets in his mood, it’s the opposite. Sometimes I wonder if this is what people mean when they say sometimes you got to love someone and let them go.

Talking from experience that has had a traumatic childhood. Please sit with hubby and try and make him see that he needs therapy to deal with those childhood issues. Best thing I ever did for myself and my partner and our future.

Please don't let the financial strain keep you attached to someone. You can do it yourself. Trust me, you won't allow yourselves to struggle oncd you are in it.

I don’t think it’s healthy but I think it’s probably common. I’m going through the same thing as well and we have just agreed to go to therapy once a month or every other month if we can afford it. I think it will be good to get the outside help and have someone unbiased weigh in on our struggles.