Postpartum non- sexual orgasms

K. This is weird. I have a massage vibrator and since becoming a mom, I use it to have relaxing orgasms… meaning I don’t necessarily think about sex to O. Rather, I can climax just thinking about taking a nice long shower and feeling super clean, taking a nap on a beach, breathing fresh mountain air and getting exercise. I mean. I am drained and stressed since having a baby and it’s these things I crave but it’s funny how they can help me orgasm but is that weird ?! Also sex with husband has become super scarce because of exhaustion. Also it plainly hurts. Like being stabbed with daggers in the vagina. I don’t know what to do about that.

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Things change for a bit. You didn't say how far post partum. But whatever helps you relax

lol whatever helps you relax. I would say though, that if sex with your partner is becoming rare while you do have a desire for orgasm, that’s not really fair to him. Maybe incorporate these thoughts when intimate with him instead? Some built up tension will help counter the exhaustion and lube/ talking to your doc can help with the pain

Not a fan of the “it’s not fair to him” comment. I’m sure he has the ability to masturbate too…and never owe anyone anything. That being said, lack of sex/desire can damage a relationship…including your feelings towards him. Not sure if he knows you use a vibrator or have one but my suggestion would be tell him you want more foreplay, and ask him to use the vibrator on you. Think about whatever you want during! Whatever works

Maybe sorting out the mental and physical load a bit with your husband can bring some balance and help your exhaustion, which you need! Whether it leads to sex or not. I just want to say, SEX SHOULD NOT BE PAINFUL. If you are experiencing pain, please try to seek a medical professional if you have access to one and you feel like you can talk to them about it. That is not normal, has nothing to do with exhaustion and of course you don’t want to have sex if it feels like that. Take care ❤️

@Amelia I’m 10 months pp

@Erin I know. When I was younger I was soo comfortable. But the last few years have been so painful. I have sought help. All tests come back normal. My OB said it’s anxiety. I was in an abusive relationship prior to my husband. Emotional not physical. But still. He was really a jerk and for some reason it conditioned me to become down to bone jerks and now I’m like tight and not into it if I’m not being treated like shit. That’s so effed up lol.

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