Grandma doesn’t know her place

Constantly over the past 4 years since me and my first daughter’s father split due to him abusing me (which he still denies), I had been trying to get him to see his kid even when he lived 5 minutes away. He went almost 2 years without seeing her or trying to contact me for her(he says because of me). Even when he is in her life it’s sporadically and not for very long and just before her 4th birthday(she is now almost 5 1/2)he tells my daughter that Daddy won’t make it to your birthday because he’s moving to Oregon. He’s moved to Oregon because his buddy(who is awful) works at a dispensary there. My ex can’t get a job really anywhere here in Arizona. He is not a good person he’s manipulative and abusive. As I am not the only woman he’s abused there are 2 other women who he both has children with. He has had a court case (domestic dispute and such)with the last one. I have made it clear I don’t want him talking to my daughter without me in the room as he has bad mouthed me in front of her before. But his mother can’t respect my wishes, she undermines me at every turn and acts like her son has done nothing wrong. I literally came to live with her after because I had no where else to go. She makes it a point to mention all she’s done for me and my child. She thinks she’s entitled to every weekend with my daughter, giving her bang trims or haircuts with no permission from me, and still lets her do fun things even she’s been on punishment . And she’s constantly telling me how whatever I’m doing with my daughter isn’t working . I haven’t talked to her since she’s made said comment about my parenting . I don’t want or need that in my life right now. I’m just trying to focus on my family that I have right now . Am I wrong for cutting her out of my life right now?