How do you get over resent towards your husband?
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I think everyone struggles with this to some degree. I think the trick is to deal with it as quickly as possible. For us, I love told my husband I’d much rather him say “I don’t want to” than to make up an excuse and be dishonest. The thing here is I’d have to keep it together when he says he just doesn’t want to help. But that also gives me the option of saying the same thing when I don’t feel like it. Have the hard discussions about what things are super pet peeves and what could possibly be deal breakers. You can’t keep building up resentment and expect to have a good marriage. Hopefully he will be willing to hear you and take you seriously
Can you tell us what he did? That might help us trouble shoot how to work through it. It's kinda hard to give advice otherwise. General advice would be Make sure your needs are being met Make sure your relationship is fair. Make sure you both contribute enough to the housework and the child rearing, so as to not build more resentment Make sure you BOTH get equal recreational time. Really common for men to get more If all that is already fair, then focus on gratitude. Focus on what is good about him. I'm not gonna lie, my husband also was not supportive to me during my post partums. My kids are now 3 and 5 and I don't feel active burning resentment about it. He's great with the kids NOW and with time, resentment fades. And I KNOW I will never have another child with him. I am DONE. So I know this will never happen again.
I get it. We have been together since 16/18. 20 years this next month. But there are those things that happened that are hard to get past. One of the things that has help me is him showing me he is listening and taking me more seriously. But it took me talking about ending it for him to start changing. Then it took over a year for me to even believe he was changing. It can still bubble up too.