Friendships changing.

As a 30 something woman I’ve lived a bit. Got 2 kids and had some decent jobs and moved around but also got into some debt which I’m slowly paying off. Im not working (by choice) and live modestly and I’m happy with that. I’m not materialistic at all and I’m much better at budgeting than ever before.. I have 2 friends in particular who have always put their careers first but also married wealthy men. They have new cars, big houses, their kids have the nicest clothes and toys and go to all the best holidays to expensive destinations. Whilst I think it’s great I can’t help feel out of sync with them and I just don’t feel the need to have all that in my life. It’s difficult when we hang out like it’s obvious we don’t have the same morals or outlook. Do you feel like it’s hard to have stuff in common with other mums these days like there’s such a divide in lifestyles? I don’t know how to deal with it 🙈

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Agreed. I drifted away from a friend of almost 15 years (since high school) because the truth is we are just not in the same place. Also I don’t get along with her husband too much mostly because he is emotionally controlling and I just can’t be around that. Lifestyles can be hard to find in common, I have a friend who has a doctor husband and is pretty well off. We just focus on things we have in common (love for food, discussing books and health related stuff) It’s ok to have a friend for this and a friend for that. A friend for going out and a friend for staying in, a friend that has children my children’s age and a friend a church, etc.

Yes I do feel like it’s hard to have stuff in common with other mamas especially if ur living what seems to be a different lifestyle than them. Bt I always try to remind myself that I’m not in highschool and my friends don’t need to match my lifestyle cuz we are adults now with our own families and we all want different things and have different goals. I find that Adult friendships are harder to navigate because friends tend to all be different. If u feel like it’s hard to relate to ur current 2friends then maybe I would suggest expanding ur horizons and finding a few more friends that speak to ur lifestyle x I have established some good friendships bt I’m still trying to find my friends whom I share the same morals or outlook with, its very hard

I have a lot of variety of friends, some like you mentioned, but that doesn’t seem to get in the way of our friendship we just focus on our love for fashion, or food, or they’re just good company overall, we don’t compare how much we each have although if they bought a new car and is telling me (bragging) then great, I’m happy for them 💁🏻‍♀️ we gush over that then we change the subject. Like Melissa said I know who to call for what, at what times, so I have a variety and I like to keep it that way instead of relying on 1-2 friends for everything.

Thanks ladies, I do have a variety probably 5 good friends it’s just a couple that I feel out of sync with. One is quite judgemental so I’m thinking that’s the one I should spend less time with. I’ve unfollowed her on social media cos she’s one of those that will show off and it has started to annoy me lately. My other friend is more modest and will just live her life normally even though they have money too. I guess it’s normal to gravitate more towards people in similar circumstances. X

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