Socialising

My 11 year old is the same but she doesn’t have an issue in not going out. My daughter is very strong minded so has never really been bothered if people invite her to things. In fact I’m the one that tries to encourage it but she just likes to stay at home with me lol. Does any of her school friends live local? Maybe arrange for them to meet up or come to your home. Does she have social media?

Hey Hun, my 11 year old went through a similar situation and still comes to me sometimes when she gets rejected or not invited to certain places, its very normal and their emotions are all over the place, friends matter alot to them. I always validate her feelings and offer space to talk about it and then i always tell her that she cannot control other peoples decisions, I also offer her a date with myself , doing stuff together even if its just grabbing a lil sandwich every now and then. They can get lonely very fast so just always make sure you are their backup no matter what and they will eventually find close friends, its a hard age and always have been

@Bella thank you… my daughter sounds similar as in she’s more than happy being at home. There’s only been a few comments about missing out that I think I’m holding on to. I’ve tried inviting her friends over or meeting up with some of my friends who have children of similar age but she gets completely stressed about it. Hubby thinks I need to give her time and she will find her way.

@Sawin thank you… they sound very alike. I try to give her space to tell me how she feels without jumping in and trying to fix it. It’s so hard. She loves spending time with me and I just don’t know if that’s a good thing but am I being too negative about it.

Local friends will definitely help!

@Bella @Sawin really appreciate your replies. I don’t really have anyone to bounce off with this age. My close friends have smaller children and the school mums are non existent now and all their children just seem to be uber confident.

@Charlotte yeah would defo agree just give her time and she will eventually ask or want to do something. I just leave my daughter to do what she’s doing she’s happy with just speaking to her friends on the phone (monitored) and then waiting for school. They will get older and more independent and we will be complaining they go out too much. I’m just taking advantage of it at the moment lol

My almost 12 Yr old is the same She has a big friend group but prefers her own space most of the time

@Bella thank you… you’re so right. Totally doubting myself

@Heather she gets so socially drained after school and just likes being at home over the weekend

@Charlotte same as my daughter, she will video call with them and doesn't mind the odd day with friends but is definitely happier in her own space

Mine is the same. I was very reluctant to her having a TV in her room but I have let her as of late so that she can get an idea of what she likes and some interests. She has now watched a few box sets and films and has some substance for conversation with others. Hope this helps. Xx

@Mel really helps thank you. just feel like it’s only my child as don’t really has any other mum friends with kids the same age

Hi. Wanted to comment as this sounds alot like my daughter who's also 11. For us I think it's an age thing combined with her general character. She's never been the loudest in the room and is probably one of the quietest out of her friendship group. I've noticed a change in her over the past 6 months or so. Her emotions seem to be bigger and she's become more self critical e.g. saying nobody likes her. I think some of it is hormones! Also 11 seems to be a tricky age. Wanting to grow up and have that independence but still wanting hugs and comparing yourself to other people as they try to find their own way. Not sure if your daughter is the same but mine doesn't always want to be out and also genuinely sometimes enjoys being home and our company. Since starting high school she's been alot more tired and by the end of the week I think her social battery is drained.

I used to spend alot of time worrying about how to help her socially but recently have taken a step back. I'll gently encourage but will leave it if she resists too much. I think us mums worry so much about everything but things are usually ok! They're tougher than we think and by giving them a bit of space, some encouragement and a hug (or two!) when they need it they'll generally find their own way! This pre-teen parenting is not for the faint hearted 😁😂

@Simone this describes my daughter. Thank you for commenting. Nice to know it’s not just my daughter. 11 is so hard and she’s my oldest so I haven’t parented this age before. I worry about her self confidence

@Charlotte my almost 12 yr old is my 3rd A lot of tweens/teens go through this x