Miscarriage

I’ve had one missed and one chemical. The missed was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. Getting told my baby didn’t have a heart beat was absolutely gut wrenching and destroyed me for a long time. Mentally and emotionally I was broken. I blamed myself, and my body for failing my child. The one place they are suppose to be the safest and they weren’t. I didn’t leave my bed for weeks, I went on LOA at work, I didn’t eat, I cried every waking second until I fell back to sleep. I was inconsolable. Not to mention the physical aspect. The pain, seeing the blood and tissue knowing I was passing my child. I couldn’t look, I didn’t look. It took about a year to be able to start healing, and my pregnancy after was a nightmare. I’d have nightmares nightly about losing him, I’d wake up screaming and crying from them. It was a lot. It’s hard to go through in every aspect. As females we are made to believe we aren’t meant to do this, we can, it’s rare, it’s uncommon.

When we’re one of the 1/3 it feels like we failed at being a woman, being a mom, ourselves, and worse of all our child. It takes a huge toll mentally, emotionally, as well as physically. If you don’t have a support system it can and will break you more than you thought possible. When I had my last my partner asked every time I went to the bathroom if I was okay, constantly got me gifts, checked on me, did so much for me… I believe it’s the only reason I made it through it mentally intact… him.. we need our partners more than anything during these times. Partners are the closest to knowing how we felt. We carried them, we felt them, we changed physically, hormonally, emotionally, but our partners grew attached too, watched us change, helped us change. Check on him too, and don’t be afraid to ask for more. Sending you all the love darling, you’re strong, you did nothing wrong. 🖤

Thank you I really appreciate your answers and I’m so sorry for your loss!😭 I’ll send this to my partner and maybe he’ll see how I feel💕

I’m not the best with my words, but this is one of those things even nearly 3 years later I can recall that pain like it was yesterday. I wouldn’t wish a loss on anyone, but least of all a missed… knowing they’re still there, but not… just mentally fucks you up. Sending you all the love and support and hugs and everything I can! I hope it helps, and I hope you start to heal. I named my 2 losses and it helped a LOT

@Bella it was definitely something!! Thank you I do really appreciate it! Yeah it’s very horrible, I didn’t think I’d be in that 1-2% to have another straight after! 😭 thank you so much! I hope I start to heal too. Maybe I’ll give the names ago, thank you

💕💕

It truly feels like a death , people think you shoudnt be so upset when it is an early miscarriage but for us women the moment we see that line on the stick we start dreaming of the future of that baby and become instantly attached. So miscarriage at any stage is devastating. You can’t help feel like it is somehow your fault and that you disappointed anyone who knew you were pregnant but giving them false hope. The blood is a daily reminder that it happened until it stops. I had a natural miscarriage and I don’t think I will ever forget the feeling of my baby leaving my body, thinking about it now months later makes me want to cry. I never felt so alone, so ashamed, so sad in my life - and I have a very supportive husband who was there for me the whole time and wanted to talk about it and felt sad about it too so I can only imagine how someone would feel who hasn’t had that kind of support from their partner