How many kids ?

I can get what you’re saying, but the idea of kids and the reality of kids are too very different things for a lot of people. How old if your child? If it’s young then it’s not the time to be making any big decisions, for either of you. If he says yes to 4 to make you happy, can you not say yes to a lower number to make him happy?

Our little girl is 2 100%. That is why I am saying about compromising in a marriage. Definitely not a ‘my way or the high way’ in our marriage. We have a really big understanding. But I feel like us having another child (with all the comments he has made) it’s as if it’s a favour to me. I am not asking for 4, I know he really doesn’t want 4 as we both comes from families of 4 children. Just never thought (if god allowed) that I would only have 1/2

I loved the thought of having a big family too but kids are exhausting and it’s kinda impossible to truly know how many you want until you’re a parent and face the reality. And with this specific topic in marriage I do feel like the parent who feels tapped out at a certain number should take priority cuz it’s soooo much worse to regret a child you have than to wonder about a possible extra child or two on top of the family you’ve already created. Idk that’s just how I see it, might not be right but especially with men it’s so much better they tell you their honest opinion about having more kids than just going along to make you happy and then becoming a shitty or absent parent. But it does kinda suck that he’s making it seem like a big favor to you to have one more. If that’s how my husband felt I’d be really considering if we should be even having one more

Can you try to compromise by telling him you're happy he is willing to have another but maybe agree to revisit the conversation after your second one is like 6 months old? It's possible you may even change your mind after having a second so it's best for you to both try to be open to the possibilities

I’ve always wanted 4. My husband and I collectively have 3 right now (1 off in college and 2 at home) but we have none together. While we have the older one it doesn’t feel the same because I wasn’t around to help raise her. I showed up when she was already 17. That said we really want at least one together. My idea of how many kids I wanted changed a few times during my life. All the way up until 2020z I always wanted 4 (2 boys and 2 girls) when I got with my now husband he wasn’t sure if he wanted anymore than his one and my two. After two years and a lot of struggles with the kids we said we weren’t sure we wanted more. Now I do want at least one with him but we both have agreed whatever God gives us is fine whether it’s 1 more or 3 more (or no more). It can be hard to decide but having children can definitely change your desire to have more

I get it. I wanted two and it’s looking like one is it for us.

People change their minds all the time. Sometimes in this moment, in this season, at this child’s age, we or them don’t want anymore. But, maybe in a couple years time people can change their minds. We woke up 13yrs later and both agreed on trying for a boy after being content w 2 girls for 13yrs. So we have a 13yr gap lol. What I’m saying is, in the thick of it sometimes we are adamant on our choices at the time, but minds can change later it’s not set in stone.

I was absolutely done having kids then I met the man of my dreams and had a daughter and now have a 16,13 and 2 year old sometimes things are just meant to be

To him I am saying we will wait (as I want another one soon 🙈) but I totally understand he is tapped out. We are going to revisit having another in a few years. I would never ever put it on him or make him feel bad about not wanting another. I feel like that is not fair. This is a safe place for us ladies to come on and say some of the things we may not want to put on our other half. So please don’t think I am making him feel bad about the situation. Fingers crossed he wants more babies once our little one is grown up 😂😂

My number of kids I want changes all the time so me and my partner don’t make promises. He jokes and says he wants only two as when you have three you’re outnumbered. But I think we will have to see after we have another to decide after as everyone can change their minds and as a result I wouldn’t dwell on it as he could change his mind. I think as kids grow older for some people and even as ourselves grow older some realise that they in fact do want another especially if the time is right for them

You’re valid for being upset. I’m going through something similar. I told my husband I wanted 2 and I’ve always said that. At our baby shower he started telling people he only wanted one and after our son was born, he said he’ll absolutely never have another baby with me because he didn’t like the experience. My husband is being mean about it though. It feels cruel and like an ultimatum since he’s completely negating my feelings.

I understand what you’re saying however, what you say pre children is likely to change! You don’t know until you have a child how you’re actually going to feel. I always said I wanted two. Then had my daughter and the birth was so traumatic it put me off for a little, same with my partner (who never wanted kids). Then we decided we wanted 1 more and we were done. I’m currently pregnant and I can’t decide if I want one more or not. My partner doesn’t want anymore after this baby. I’ve said that’s fine but he needs to take action to ensure it doesn’t happen. Things change and it’s something you both need to keep an open mind about and discuss what this means for you x