I’m struggling

My 3 year old has literally convinced me to never have kids again. I’ve never been so sure I never want anymore kids until I had my second so I guess the saying is true after all. It’s always your second kid. At least in my case. Don’t get me wrong. I love my baby. I am not saying I regret it. I’m just struggling. He’s a very smart boy. Just stubborn as hell. At his age, he knows the very basic right from wrong but he’s been hitting friends/teachers and screaming at daycare, this has been going on and off since he was around 2.5 years old. Everytime it happens, his dad and I have a talk with him. And he looks down, side to side, starts fiddling his fingers, like he knows he’s in trouble. He understands what’s going on 100% for a 3 y/o and that’s what frustrates me the most. I will say, the other kids at daycare don’t help because there are a few kids there where I think he picked up this behavior from, so I know that’s playing a part as well. I also don’t feel supported by the daycare he goes to but it’s the only affordable one in our area. We’re also trying to get him evaluated for autism or adhd, but the waiting lists are horrendous. We’re on a waiting list to get him evaluated in probably a year! And then there’s potty training. This kid refuses to use the potty. I am trying to be patient but I feel like as a mother, I’m failing and I don’t know how else to help or what to do. I just know I love him and want to right by him, but this is so hard.