Childminder/nursery

We had a similar experience. My daughter needed about a month to get used to the idea of nursery and then one more month to actually start enjoying it. The "Lulu loves nursery" book helped us so much! She's settled in really well now (has been going since September although we did switch nurseries once because the first one just wasn't a good fit) and her social skills have improved so much. It might be difficult in the beginning, but I'm sure your daughter would settle as well. 😊

I’m not going to be very helpful here as I’m in the same situation as you 🤣 My little boy has always been attached and always needed me in situations so when it was my time to return back to work I was going to send him to nursery for a couple of days a week (just mornings) but when I went to go view some nurseries in the area I didn’t like any of them and at the time I couldn’t drive so it had to be a local one I could get to easily About 6 months later hed grown so much. Started walking and getting there with his words so I thought I’ll try him again but with a childminder this time as I felt a more quiter setting would suit him. Found a lovely women and signed him up and at first he enjoyed going. Settled well and all was fine but he started to not want to leave me and would cry or cling on and say no and shake his head which broke my heart. I thought why would I make him do something he just doesn’t want to do so I stopped him from going and I’ve committed to be a sah mum

Sorry I reached my word limit 🤣 I just wanted to say that I can came to that conclusion with trail and error. You can always pull her out or you could always just not even try 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think only you. As her mother will be able to figure this out 🙂. Either way your little one will get used to whatever routine you put her in and they do adopt quickly I’m always getting mum guilt or second guessing myself but I know deep down that if I tried again now he’d still be the same and we have such a good routine that works for everyone I don’t want to change anything just yet 🥰

Hi Xanthe, I posted something similar the other day on this exact topic. I’m also a SAHM, breastfeeding and co sleeping. Although I had the same apprehension about going to work and my lo going to nursery. I did decide to go ahead and apply for my daughter to go into nursery 3 full days a week 9am-6pm so I can go back to work. I got a lot of responses from other mums saying both mother and child benefited where the mother gets her identity back, spends time outside the home and has adult interactions. The child benefitted from social skills and activities the parents couldn’t provide them with at home and it preps them for school life which gave me the confidence and reassurance I needed to feel okay about this because like you I felt somewhat guilty as well but you can’t feel guilty about what’s gonna be good for the both of you!

My little boy goes Nursey but when we’re home he is so cuddly and always holding my hand . I would say Nursey is better over child kinder as there are various staff members for them to attach to rather than having to bond to one and there only being one person to care for them. I think Nursey really does them Good . Good luck x

I struggle a lot with the idea of leaving my son. I had therapy for it too! I’ve got him a place with a child minder who I actually went to school with so I have a slight bit of peace of mind! He starts in April and I’m really worried but as it’s only 2 days I’m telling myself it will be ok. She only takes about 5 kids max. Nursery for me gives me more anxiety but everyone is different. My son is like my shadow and we co/sleep but I know I need my time. The child minder told me if I’m struggling I can pick him up at any time I want (before the end of day) and just go with the flow. Fingers crossed. I know the whole ‘time helps’ so we will see

@Anett thank you for your response! I will definitely look into those books. I’m really glad to hear she’s settled well!

@Faye you’re so right! I think I’m going to look into childminders and nurseries around my area (which are like gold dust anyway I think). Who knows if I will even get a job! I think I will apply and go from there! Thank you for sharing your experience!

@Amy thank you so much for your response. I think I know she would really benefit and so I would from it, but I know it will be so upsetting for me to see her upset! Can I ask, what made you go for a nursery over a childminder?

@Jade thank you for your reply! That’s true about nursery! My worry is she would just be so overwhelmed by the sheer number of other children there. She’s really overwhelmed at soft play etc. But you’re right about there being more staff and so more options to feel safe with, I hadn’t thought about that!

@Jen thank you! This was my feeling about childminder over nursery. I think nursery is better in lots of ways, but I think my little girl would be so overwhelmed by the setting I’m not sure it would work! The job I’m looking at currently is 4 mornings a week and so that might work better for me anyway, as it means I don’t have to leave her for a full day. It’s so hard isn’t it!

@Xanthe yes I think it’s gonna be tough until they settle themselves in but I keep telling myself it’s going to be okay. I’ve settled for the nursery because 1. When viewing a few, I wanted to see how she would react and surprisingly she felt quite comfortable, all the staff members and even the children were so friendly towards her. And 2. I didn’t go for childminding because I didn’t want her to be attached to one person whereas in nursery she will have various staff members and knowing my daughter and her personality, nursery would fit her best as she’s very social anyway. She loves going to parks/soft play and plays with everybody. You know your baby best so make a decision based on that. If you know your child gets overwhelmed easily then maybe childminding is a better option for her but I would definitely take her to view a few nurseries to see how she would respond to the environment first. Best of luck 🤞🏽

I’ve put my little boy in nursery 1.5 days a week, I’m not a sahm, my mum does my childcare but I did feel nursery would be good for him expecially in preparing him for school in a few years. Also it gives me a morning to myself to do housework/food shop etc without him around which of course means I get it done quicker 😂 it’s been slow getting him to settle as he is quite attached to me so we find it’s better on the day my mum drops him off. To start with I went in and stayed with him a bit until he started to play and then said my goodbyes, he also has a teddy and train he is quite attached to so I let him take those and send some of his favourite snacks too. It’s been a journey and there’s been a fair few tears from us both as I’ve definitely felt guilty leaving him crying but when I turn up and see him happily playing and the pictures on the nursery app I know he’s happy there and it makes it easier 🥰

I work 3 days a week whilst LO goes to nursery. She does school hours, and I can’t imagine not doing things this way now. I absolutely find being at home alone with her 24/7 too much (and I’m okay to admit that), and I think she gains so much from nursery. Her speech is amazing, she gets to socialise and form relationships with others, and it’s preparing her for the school routine too. You might find it helps LO after a settling in period find some confidence and be more willing to explore without you. I hope you find something that works for you!

@Harriet thank you for your response! It’s really good to hear some honest stories!

@Chloe thank you! That’s one of the reasons I feel like it would be good to get her in somewhere! I think in the long run it will do her so much good and help her gain confidence!