Resenting my husband

If your really unhappy then I say it’s ultimatum time! Either he makes time to improve your relationship or what’s the point! Sometimes men need a little kick. Up the ass to get their act together. Hope it gets better for you

@Abby thank you. Thing is he’ll “try” then it gets better and then I feel like it goes back to square one. He also gives me the silent treatment when he gets mad. It’s starting to really make my blood boil. 💔 I feel lost. I don’t know if I’m the problem or what at this point. I feel so bad for our kids.

Really sorry to hear about your situation! I understand a little bit as my partner is in the military and despite being so regimented in the job etc it seems as though when it comes to the home there's no help! I do all the cooking, cleaning, looking after the baby and I completely understand where you're coming from. When I talk to my partner about it he says I should just tell him what needs doing (I don't want to tell him, he should just know! I'm not there to mother him) - I don't know if that would work with your relationship or whether he just doesn't want to help? I agree with Abby in regards to a bit of of ultimatum, if that's what you want. Military men can be quite hot headed so you have to prepare yourself for him to walk away if you do issue an ultimatum. Based on what you've described I would say communication is key but it does sound like you need an unbiased third party - I see couples therapy as holding a mirror up to yourself which sounds like what he needs and someone to translate how

You feel into ways he can understand and vice versa. If it was me I would try to get a therapist - take it out of his hands and if it doesn't work following this then you have to decide - your kids will grow up to love and appreciate whatever decision you make because you're doing it for them ❤️ Here if you ever need to vent/chat and I wish you all the best ❤️😘 xx

@Charlotte so I do tell him what to do because I can’t stand him not doing something that I need done. I’m a bit bossy. Fortunately the guys I’ve dated in the military haven’t been too hot headed, but they do know how to get on my nerves 😅 I want to go to couples/marriage counseling but he keeps saying all the places that take tricare are all booked and we can’t get an appointment. I know tricare sucks but I seriously feel like he’s lying. I’ve told him in the past when I caught him talking to another girl super early on in a relationship when I was in my 1 trimester with our first baby that I will leave him in a quick second if he doesn’t get his 💩 together. He’ll usually tear up, get really sad, and then slowly change for the better, but then he goes back to being a dipshit months later.

@Charlotte thank you :(

I know how you feel because my husband is also in the military and constantly chooses games over his own son. It got so bad to the point where I was depressed everyday and would cry every other day. Recently I told my husband that he needs to start helping out more and I even made a feeding schedule of who takes care of our son and when because I became so exhausted and emotionally unstable. I also told my husband that if he wants more kids that he has to learn to take care of the one he already has

You're better than me! I just do it all myself because I don't want to have to tell him! 😅 It does sound like the option is there and he is choosing not to use it. His avoidance to want to go to counselling, do you think it's him not wanting to admit to needing a bit of help/seeing it as failing or do you think he's genuinely not interested? I do think that he's showing how he feels by not showing up for you when you clearly want to try it - 1 session isn't going to hurt 🤷🏼‍♀️ Obviously this is your life and it's easier said than done but trust your gut and do what's right for you and your kids! ❤️🙏🏼 Entertaining anyone outside the relationship is a huge flag, but only you know how serious he is about your family to work through it all ❤️

I’m not sure what branch he’s in, but when my husband was in, we went on post and they had walk in options that covered up to so many sessions. It wasn’t amazingly great, but it was a start! My husband and I had issue after issue after issue, and very similarly, he would seem to recognize he needed to step up, and then the same patterns would ensue. He’s out now, and so so much better it seems, but I know it’s a battle, and a lot of that behavior seems to be pretty common. If anything, you could reach out to your FRG or the chaplain and ask for help. Your husband may not like that, but if that’s what it comes to to protect you and your littles, then that’s how it is.

@Jade he’s a marine. That’s what I told him and he just kept saying “oh no they said they don’t have any appointments and they’re all booked up” he’s totally lying and that irritates me even more. I called him out and he said “I’m just a civilian and wouldn’t know” he loves throwing around that stupid civilian title at me. Which is funny because I was going to join the naval academy and backed out for a few reasons. It’s gotten so annoying. :(

@Charlotte yeah I’m not too sure. We talked about this tonight and he sounds like he wants to go, but deep down I feel like I see right through him and I asked him “do you think they’re gonna asses you and you’re scared or judge you..” and he didn’t give me a clear answer. Just kept saying that they were all booked up and he did his research. This all started because I told him I wanted to do this modeling shoot they’d pay me $300 for the session and it was local. I was a model before meeting him. I never did risqué shoots out of personal preference. This shoot would’ve been nude implied with sushi on top of me.. it was a art thing they were trying to do.. anyway.. he said no. I was then taken aback because I didn’t ask for permission nor imply whether I was actually going to do it or not. I then reminded him that he never asks me for permission and has gone against me when I’ve told him not to do something. For example talking to that girl in the beginning, he said they were just….😅

@Charlotte … friends and that he never thought that she was going to send him a practically covered up titty pic! Mind you I was like 10 weeks pregnant. I told him before that happened to stop talking to her and he totally ignored me. I’m still not over it and it makes my blood fucking boil. Currently I’m 20 weeks pregnant and I get flashbacks and sometimes ask myself why I keep going, but then things get better and I push aside the bs. The reason he’s even mad is because “I brought that back up again and I’m flipping this on him”

I have been exactly where you are honestly! It's something you think you can let go of but the smallest of things can remind you of it and send you back into that headspace - it's not worth the stress especially being so pregnant! You sound like such a strong, independent woman and he doesn't deserve what you have to offer. I think you have to issue an ultimatum if you want to stay with him and remember that the 'better' version of him is most likely temporary. I know it's not ideal and maybe not the nicest for me to say (there could be a lot I'm missing) but I think you and your kids would be happier and less stressed on your own. There are plenty of men that would never make you question things, always talk through feelings etc and always make you feel like a queen ❤️ cliché I know but they are out there 🙏🏼❤️