Should I be upset?? Like am I trippin?

Did they know about the price of the house when you initially told them about the trip? Is there a cheaper housing option?

@Renee aside from the house, they may not be able to afford both trips. Flight, stay, food etc

Just make the Japan trip your bday trip

@Ella noooo this was the plan first 😭

I mean no matter how you feel they can’t make money appear outta thin air. It sucks but at least you’ll be together on one trip or another! Even if you got to CR with just one other friend you’ll have an amazing time, it’s beautiful and the food is so good!

Both are during peak tourist season in that area too.

But also, are they asking you to cover the costs for yourself to be there for trips for their birthdays? At the end of the day, it’s their money, vacation time, and a big commitment for a birthday.

@Renee They shouldn’t have agreed to come then. Like I said, they agreed to this first and then the Japan trip came up. To not be able to afford this trip is kinda shitty. And if we were planning a trip for one of their birthdays um yeah I’d expect to pay. I wouldn’t even let my friend pay for dinner on their birthday

@Korissa ofc not, but they should’ve prioritized 😇

Major brat vibes. Sorry. Expecting them to pay for two trips and for your trip too 🤚🏽 calling them shitty for not being able to afford a luxury 🤚🏽 Shit happens. Things change. That is life.

Tbf, if they can't afford things, they shouldn't agree to things. You are right; your bday trip was planned first. April is in 3 months, no way could they be able to pay for things in such a short space of time. If it were me, I'd go for the one that was discussed first and have more time to save/pay for no matter how good the second one sounds. Or do something small in April and move the Japan trip to next year instead, that way everyone has time to save for it and everyone gets to go 🤔

Is anything actually booked? Could you suggest that it’ll be more fun to just do one trip all of you? And just vote for Japan or Costa Rica? I think people often agree to stuff when it seems theoretical and far away but once it actually comes to booking and paying they realise it’s not realistic budget wise/ time wise, whatever. It’s just after Christmas too, most people are broke! Whatever you end up doing you definitely shouldn’t expect them to pay for your trip! It was your idea and they’re already paying to come celebrate with you. Chipping in for a dinner is not the same as paying for someone’s whole holiday!

I'd only be able to take time off work to go to one... and no offence.. but I personally have never like trips that are centred around a birthday or a bridal shower etc... the focus becomes about that person instead than having a lovely time together as a group with no power dynamic.

@Donna Woods lol ok so maybe they shouldn’t have agreed to go to Japan if we already planned a trip. Sounds like priorities instead. Half of my friend group is childless! Lmao please believe this is not about just money

@Sorrel when did I ask them to pay for my whole trip? Think you’re misunderstanding. They need to cover their own flight and we are splitting the cost of a house. I don’t think it’s bizarre to expect them to pay for themselves. Again, if you can’t afford it, don’t agree to go. It’s not a big deal if they can’t go, but it’s the way this has happened that’s annoying. And nothing is booked. Some of them have tickets but the deposit for Costa Rica is due this month

@Monét Maybe they shouldn’t have. But shit happens and sometimes plans have to change 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just because someone is childfree doesn’t mean they don’t have other responsibilities or reasons for no longer being able to commit. It’s fine to be disappointed but it is what it is. Shit happens.

@Donna Woods yeah idk why you’re trying to convince me that it’s not perfectly reasonable to be annoyed that my friends committed to a trip and then decided to prioritize another one lmao. And I know what their responsibilities are lmao they’re my friends! I’ll be a brat because I naturally am, but they’re dead wrong and I’m about to go to Costa Rica by my damn self

Even if you have to do CR by yourself, it's amazing and you'll have a wonderful time! Pura vida!!!

@Cait power dynamic? I don’t even understand how that happens

@Monét I literally said in my comment “it’s fine to be disappointed” 🤚🏽😂 Sounds like you’re just looking for others to agree with you. Don’t ask for opinions if that’s not actually what you’re looking for 😂

@Donna Woods yeah nah the question was rhetorical lmao. Am I tripping? No im not. But you saying it’s ok to be disappointed after your whole message is literally proving why you think im bratty lol. Idk maybe I don’t think all the other stuff is relevant if you understand why I’m disappointed. You’re almost invalidating how I feel while making an excuse for them.

@Monét 😂😂😂 ok 👌🏽

@Donna Woods what’s even the point of responding now. Like you’re just being annoying.

@Monét ok I have misunderstood that then. It was when you said that you’d expect to pay if it was for your friends birthday (I thought you meant pay FOR them) then adding that you wouldn’t even let them pay for dinner, gave me the impression that you don’t expect someone to have to pay anything when it’s their birthday. I’m clear now that’s not what you meant. I’m sure they had every intention of going when they said they said yes but sounds like their circumstances have changed. Or maybe misjudged what they could realistically afford. I can totally understand you feeling disappointed but think it’s just one of those things. It can still be an amazing trip with a smaller group.

@Sorrel yeah I’ll get over it for sure. And I don’t feel like they’re against me or not caring about my birthday or anything dramatic like that lmao. It’s just like come on mannnnn you knew about this! I was just mad af when I made the post and I can’t bring it to the group chat because they are the group chat! 😂

@Monét lol yeah I get it, vent away 😅

Honestly, this somewhat reminds me a situation when you plan a kid’s birthday party, invite 30 people and all confirm they will come. Then the day comes and only 10 people come (not my experience but I’ve heard stories). Even though, those no show people probably have a reason or excuse, it’s still a bit frustrating. Especially no show without notice or very short notice. So, in your situation, my opinion is, it would not sit well with me if they changed plans. One thing they can’t come to CR and they don’t travel anywhere else this year. I can understand that totally. But telling you they won’t come to CR and instead they go somewhere else internationally, would be frustrating to me.

@Donna Woods I see where you’re coming from girl.

@Olga you understand. exactly

@Monét 've been on a few trips where we've been given a list of "clothing themes" for each day- as an example.. as well as an expectation that we would pay for let's call her Sarah's meals and drinks because it's her hens trip and also take Sarah a gift. (As well as pay for anything else we had to do for bridesmaids in her wedding) Japan and Costa Rica are also two very different trips.. is it a possibility that safety a concern for some of them but they don't want to hurt your feelings?.

@Cait well then that’s a trip you should decide prior to whether you’d like to go. And I doubt anyone is concerned about safety. We’re from nyc lmao. But really I won’t be hurt if people are just direct. All the other stuff annoys me

It’s okay to be disappointed that they can’t attend but shit happens, they prolly agreed with the intention of being able to go and something happen that prevented it. It seems like the problem is cost can you try to make the trip cheaper for everyone to go cause you gotta remember you’re planning 2 trips to other countries in the same year, people have bills

@Necharia the thing is we never needed to plan the Japan trip. So planning a trip after I’ve already planned one and then saying you can’t afford both is annoying. We have no reason to go to Japan in April except for the fact that we want to 😂 so really why couldn’t it wait? Cause the flight was $200 cheaper? I guess 🥲

I think youre over thinking it. You're basically having two birthday trips. They would probably rather go to Japan than Costa Rica if they can only pick one.

@Ella I haven’t decided if I’m going to Japan or not because I never really wanted to go. Also I have work obligation. But I decided to book whatever house I want and whoever pays me will go and whoever doesn’t just won’t and I’m gonna enjoy my birthday regardless lol

@Monét yeah I definitely see what you mean, why don’t they wanna reschedule the trip to Japan then especially since the one to Costa Rica is for your birthday

@Necharia well one of our college friends has lived in Japan for the past 4 years and she’ll be leaving in the winter (next year) and we don’t want to wait until the holidays to go visit her so there’s not a lot of time after July. if I was rich I’d fly everybody out for both trips 😂

Traveling is a form of luxury. Your friends agreed to go on both trips with you. That being said they should have known whether they can afford to go on the trip or not. Whether if it’s expensive or not. You’re not being a brat!

@Tea thank you!