Mental struggle with twin parenting
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Yeah, probably you are right. Last week I had a moment at dinner table I just couldn't breathe right and I thought I would faint. I am really hesitant to reach out to doctor when going outside is already hard enough 😭
I mean you have 4 children, that's exceptionally challenging (I have 3!). I usually feel on edge like you describe when I'm very tired / worried about deadlines etc at work / worried about money/house stuff. Do you have any time for yourself in the week? If not, I'd start by carving out even just 1hr per week when you aren't near any children or at work. Sometimes you just need a bit of solo time to reset. Personally I'd try that before any medical investigations but it will depend on you what feels right.
Yes. I especially feel kinda out of normal when work is related. Money is always concern and cleaning house is also giving me stress. We live in a small house with a tiny kitchen with no dish washer and I just feel like I am constantly washing and spend majority of time in a tiny kitchen. I wish I could love my kitchen but it feels so squished into the space. I mean I have my downtime after kids go to sleep. Although it doesn't feel like a downtime because I am just so exhausted. I am dreading of another day coming tomorrow 😔
Do you have a partner or extended family member who could either watch the kids in the day or stay in while you have an evening out? No need to do anything expensive, just going out for a drink with a book might feel incredibly restorative. Alternatively, they could do a bit of cleaning or batch cooking so it's less overwhelming for you. You have a lot on your plate, no wonder you feel out of sorts.
Yes actually. My husband's dad come here almost everyday and help wash dishes sometimes. Thing is that we are adding utility room in the garage currently so on weekend and evenings my husband and his dad are working on it almost everyday so I do all the cooking, cleaning, watching kids until their bed time and I feel exhausted. I know we need utility room done so I am trying to be patient. His dad often helps with my kids as well, but not enough to the point I can just go outside the house to do my stuff. However maybe I should ask for just one hour to myself. I just feel bad to ask something like this when he is already helping us so much with utility room... My husband helps well but not to the point I can just leave the house. My older girls want to spend as much time as possible with me since twins are taking me away from them so they take whatever chance they get to be with me, which makes it hard for me to go outside alone! Lol
Thank you so much for your comments. it is so nice of you to take a time to do this. It feels so nice to be able to vent and not be judged.
You have 4 children and a part time job you do at night? You are a bloody superwoman in my opinion!
4 kids is a lot. Hire a nanny
It’s because you’re constantly having to do something. Someone or something always needs you, even more with twin babies now. It will get a little better as they become toddlers. As for the dishes, I know many don’t like waste but could you keep in plastic/styrofoam plates/forks so that could help minimize the load of washing dishes.
Definitely sounds like anxiety 🩷 PPA is sooooo sooo real. I finally got on meds at 10m pp and every day I wish I would've reached out sooner
I totally feel the same way! I've got almost 3yo twins and a 5yo and they really know how to push my buttons. I work at least 40hrs a week and am constantly doing dishes and cleaning/ picking up after the kids after I pick them up from school. I get overwhelmed so easily. I feel I'm always stressed. Over Christmas break I got burned out and went through a bit of depression from it all.
@Kylee is it different from depression? 😫 I had PPdepression with first and second, and I hated the medicine. It would be nice if there is a medication for anxiety alone
@Hillary after Christmas was very bad for me, too. Especially all the stuff my kids received and just was so overwhelming. You work full time. My goodness!! Yeah, I am so reactive when I am tired. But I feel like this is just beyond tiredness. I feel like I have no control.
@Jana oh, Jana, you are so kind. I feel like I am failing so bad every day! 😭
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@Sylvia unfortunately can't afford it at all right now, but sounds like a dream!!
@bri🤍 yes, I do paper plates often. However still. There are a lot to wash still. I do cook everything so it doesn't help 😭 just saving money... We switched from breastfeeding to formula and oh my how expensive it is 😫
@Risa yes there are different options! Definitely talk to your ob and let them know all of that, that something more anxiety specific is what you need because you've had a rough past with antidepressants they can totally do that! I was dealing with a whole PPD/PPA/PPR trio so I'm on a lot dose Lexapro but I also could've done like Xanax which is just anxiety 🩷
@Kylee that gives me a lot of hope. I don't exactly have a episode of anxiety attack just yet, but hopefully a doctor will prescribe me something like that to cope with this...
@Risa yeah I didn't have huge episodes besides maybe once or twice but it was just an overwhelming, hard to breathe, overstimulating, sooo irritating feeling and my racing thoughts kept me up all night and would make the hard to breathe feeling worse, just my regular generalized anxiety symptoms but x100 and I finally had to get help cause I've always just handled it on my own but this was so much bigger than me, my babes deserved a healthy and happy and patient mama
@Risa I definitely get it. I feel like I live in the kitchen too. Sometimes I’ll spend a night out the week prepping breakfast for a few days & lunch. I try to make bulk dinners so it at least decreases some of the time I spend in there. But dishes always catch up😮💨 are you able to get wic for the formula? Otherwise I don’t know how we would’ve done it!
You are a super star. I empathize. I have a 5 year old and 4 month old twins. I also work part time when they nap and it's hard balancing everything. Just know you are not alone. You are a rock star. Your feelings are valid. If you even need to vent my DMS are open.
@Risa Yes! The kids got so much and wanted to open everything right away. And I had to do all the shopping for everyone and tried hard to get everyone what they wanted and then felt super unappreciated which sunk me down lower. On new year's day after everyone went to bed I put all of Christmas away so it'd be done and over. I feel i have no control sometimes too. Like the other morning baby girl had the biggest meltdown over a pair of socks trying to get ready for school. I was by myself with the kids and I just about lost it. I was already tired and that just pushed me too far. I was over 30min late to work that day, but luckily they're super understanding at work.
Sounds like a bit of anxiety. Speak to your doctor about it, especially if it’s happening all the time.