Partner depression

No I have not but to me it sounds like he needs to get help I am so sorry you are going through this I hope life gets better for you

Is he refusing speaking to a therapist? This is now beyond your control. I am so sorry you’re both going through this. Being a parent is hard enough. I would strongly suggest therapy or a mental health rehabilitation center. This can’t only be your responsibility. Maybe and intervention with friends and family explaining that he is loved and needed and in order for him to be his best self for his children he needs to seek help.

1: i am diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses and it really does take a certain person to help someone through it. sometimes it is necessary to be sent for treatment but if he woke you up for help bc he’s scared it shows he’s willing to work through it. reassure him and tell him you’re not leaving but he needs to work with you to get better. you can start with taking an l-methylpholate supplement from walmart so his medicine can absorb better. try to take to just sit and talk with him and just listen to how he’s feeling without judgement. give him small affirmations through the day even for small things like “you did good with ____” and “i’m proud of you for not self harming today”. ask him regularly what he needs from you. a lot of the time people don’t know what they need in this state but asking them can help them start to think about what they need to be doing for themselves to get better. start a journal with him and ask him questions like

2: “if you felt a little better right now what is something you’d like to do for yourself or with me?” or “what are two things you’re appreciative from today or that you like about yourself?”. the first few times he may not have an answer so you can remind him of what you used to like to do together or things he used to enjoy and things about the day that were good. you do have to take the lead a bit and since you do have stress it isn’t for everyone but if you’re willing to help him i’m just a message away and can help from a very knowing perspective. most times when there are big life changes for someone with depression you can feel unloved but someone taking the time to show at all they care and are willing to have some inconvenience to help them can go a long way. he just needs to remember who he was. you are so loved and this is hard but i can tell you care 💟

Is he getting treatment? Not just medication, but therapy? He may need to be evaluated and held in a hospital to adjust his medication. You can’t take care of him and manage his mental illness for him. And he can’t expect you to carry him because you also have children to care for. He has to help himself. And this is coming from someone who has always been the mentally ill one in the relationship lol

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's coming up a year now since this all started and although it has been stressful and challenging I've always tried to be there for him. He has been to therapy but I wouldn't say he's really given it a good enough time. By 2nd/3rd session with the 3 he's gone to he's cancelled it. He's work have told him he gets 10 free sessions so I'm hoping the fact he doesn't have to pay for them with entice him to continue with the full 10 sessions and he will eventually not dread them as much as he does now. @sophie thank you sooo much for all these suggestions, I'll have a good look through and try to implement them and see how it goes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support ❤️