Circumcision

I’m not sure if he can go behind your back, i would assume not? Why does your partner want your baby circumcised? I think you both need to talk about this and express both your views

At your next appointment or maybe phone your GP to tell them to have it on his notes that he is not to be circumcised

Absolutely stand yout ground on this! I'm pretty sure he couldn't do this without your consent, but as Sarah said, ask your GP to make sure it's on his record that you do not consent to it!

My baby is circumcised and you needed both parents to authorise it, of if we arent present a signed letter to confirm our authorisation of it however its not done by the GP or the NHS you have to pay privately, and they did not contact my GP before doing it, so i see no harm in calling the GP to advise you not wanting this but im unsure it would help, as they do not do it and as i say they did not speak to his GP, just gave me a letter after the procedure to hand to his GP. However if you do for whatever reason come to change your mind, it is advised to do it earlier as it far less painful for them. But i do understand as i was not overly keen on my baby having it.

This is a really tricky one... Maybe a way of talking about it might be to help each other understand each of your positions on it, maybe if you each explain your reasons and what it represents to you there may be a compromise option possible. I had my baby circumcised and he really took it in his stride, if that helps... For me it was culturally important and when we discussed it, it helped my partner understand it and agree to it.

@Corinne it is culturally important to him. We tried to discuss it and I’ve heard his reasons but it’s not enough to change my mind and vice a versa. The only reason I would agree to have it done is if there is an actual medical need, and as there isn’t one I cant bring myself to put him through it. It’s a part of him that will be unnecessarily be removed and he cannot consent. I know I would regret it forever if I let it happen.

Yeah there are benefits but I totally get that it's a distressing procedure- and in the end it must be something you both agree on. Your partner won't be able to get it done without your consent... What makes you think he would? If he wants it for cultural reasons, sometimes there are other ways of doing something symbolically e.g. some Jewish people make a small cut in the baby's heel instead of circumcision (but don't cut anything 'off' per se) and do the naming ceremony like that, which is similar to what would happen in hospital anyway in the heel prick test. I wonder if something like that might be worth looking into?

@Hafsa by medical need I meant if he has an actual problem that means he’d need to be circumcised which he does not at this stage. Hopefully they would require both our signatures.

@Corinne I didnt know if a doctor would do it with just one parent’s consent. I cant get my mind around how he would be okay with the procedure anyway as he hated them doing heal prick test which I didn’t have a problem with