Anyone else feel like their partner makes parenting harder?

My partner is going to be traveling this weekend and I’m actually looking forward to things with the kids running more smoothly 🥲 tonight he comes home from work, the kids (2.5 years and 6 months) are wanting him because they have missed him, he gets overwhelmed, says “I walk in and the pressure’s on” and has to smoke weed to feel like he can cope with parenthood then he helps me make dinner and put our oldest to bed after I get our 6 month old down. He’s still high so basically the whole time I’m trying to get my 2.5 y.o. to bed he’s getting distracted, walking out of her room, she’s following him because she’s curious, I’m trying to get her back in her room to get her changed into a new diaper and pajamas and read books all while not losing my mind. It takes two hours to get her to bed. She’s short fused, crying, generally having toddler meltdowns because she’s exhausted. I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated at him I’m short fused and trying to regulate my emotions so I don’t blow my top about how frustrated and stressed my partner is making me. All while I need to finish my work (I work from home while taking care of the two babies) and get any type of “me” time but now I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated that I’m just going to bed. This happens every night. Is it just my partner that does this?

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It sounds like you have a third child. Do you need him?

You need to let him know that something needs to change, before you reach your limit. He needs to talk to someone and get advice for becoming a dad. And honestly? Giving up weed might become a part of that, because it's not healthy. And that's part of wanting the best for his kids. Y'all should check the Dr John Deloney show on YouTube! He has some great advice about marriage, parenting and weed. He talks about the mental health part of weed, that I didn't know about. And now I understand why so many people choose to do it.

My exhusband was like this except he didn’t help with dinner nor bed time

Sorry I'm tired! But also as far as parenting made harder by daddy being home? Yeah it's an odd whiplash to his night off work! We love seeing him, but as the time passes, I keep thinking about it! How nice it'll be, when he goes back to work and we can do our normal stuff! He doesn't handle toddler fits well at all and I don't know how to talk to him about it. At this point, I feel like it's too late to correct it. And I don't know what the consequences of it will be. I'll be taking parenting classes soon, hoping to get insight!

My significant other is similar but he’s an alcoholic. He rather play games than help me with the kids or cooking after he gets home from work….

@Lolaa hes insignificant other.., why are you still with him

This sounds draining, no wonder you're looking forward to this weekend and everything running more smoothly. However, it sounds like your partner needs some support. It sounds like he's struggling with parenthood, I mean from what you've said he's told you that in other words. It might be worth having a bit of a 'date night' and sitting down and discussing his concerns and his role within the family. Yes, the weed is a problem but (I don't know him but) I'd imagine he wouldn't respond well to you saying this and may well become defensive. So I would approach the core issue, which is his feelings and emotions surrounding being a parent.

Firstly, you need to address why its taking 2 hrs to get your toddler to bed, that's insane! No wonder he feels overwhelmed with it if I'm honest. My partner has adhd and he would totally find this overwhelming

@Rebecca it’s taking so long because he adds distractions when he’s high

@Kristina financial support.. I tried applying for jobs but they’ve never gotten back to me and I don’t have much family support.

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