Your honest takes please!

I think everyone's idea of what a godparent is different. In my opinion it is someone who will protect and look after your child if you two die. Maybe your husband has thought about the person who will do that. I'm sure if you asked your husband to say what religion you want your little one to follow, she will follow your wish. Me and my husband spoke about god parents and I feel like we could both pick one person. I can't be the only one to have a say in it. I think the wanting more is understable but you need to talk to him about how you feel. You could start with asking him what he needs more from you (so it doesn't feel like an attack). If I said yo my husband I need xy and z he would get defensive and feel like I am having a go. It's taken a while for my husband to just go and clean something but again we have different ideas of clean. I like spotless like a show home and he thinks houses should be lived in

The things you mentioned that you want him to fix as a husband are fixable with work and commitment. Jumping to a divorce would be a shame because in long term relationship things slip sometimes and get bumpy but you can always fix it. As for the God parents part, I think you should compromise. Your sister could be the lead God parent because of her faith. You could tell him that you’ll be speaking to his sister to tell her what kind of God parent you’re wanting and it would be her decision to accept if she can fulfil that role. Also you both need to stop threatening divorce with each other. Life and death are in the power of the tongue

To me a god parent is someone who will step up and care for your baby if anything were to happen to yous both. Doesn’t have to be religious and I think the fact you aren’t willing to let his sister be a godparent even though you knew he wasn’t the same religion when getting together is wild, it’s his baby too don’t forget.

I think your husband's request to have both sisters be godparents is pretty reasonable. Your child is already having a baptism that doesn't align with his beliefs, but she's also his child, so he should have some say. My partner is Lutheran while I'm somewhere between agnostic, atheist, and pagan. We chose our child's godparent as someone who we believe has the means and emotional capacity to raise our child well if we both should perish, no spiritual ties involved. Maybe your husband has a different idea of what a godparent is? As for your feelings of you having to do too much work and not having your needs met, that's valid and warrants a serious sit down discussion with your husband. Maybe he doesn't realize that he's failing to meet your needs and his share of the household/parenting work. Perhaps you can write a letter, look into couples therapy, or speak with a preacher. I don't know the whole story, but it feels like you're in a hurry to jump ship because of the baptism/godparent conflict.

We’ve recently had our little one dedicated (the church we go to believe baptism is a decision the baby will make themselves when older) and also had our wills done, when it came to choosing Godparents whilst we’re both religious and faith is important to us we had to really think deep on who do we both trust to look after our LO should anything happen to both of us, it had to be individuals who align with not just our faith but also shared values. I guess what I’m trying to share is try speak to your husband to find out why he wants his sister as a Godparent religion aside and try to see things from his perceptive as he could be factoring in other things.

I think you're being too uncompromising on a baptism he doesn't agree with to begin with & you either need to include his family by letting his sister be a godparent or postpone the baptism until you find a religion & godparents you can agree on. But getting divorced over a baptism seems petty and an overreaction on both parts. To him it probably looks like you doing whatever you want without regard for his feelings and excluding his family from your child's baptism.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts. It’s been a pretty hard few months and Im functioning off 5 hour sleep since I’m pumping once at night and the one that nurses our baby at 3 am when he wakes up. It’s made me a bit resentful as my husband has slept 8-9 hours each night. The hormones, the lack of sleep, being a working mom have been really hard that I sometimes feel like it’s so unfair and I just want him to give me an easier time when it comes to certain things. I did say that his sister can be a godparent to the other baptism that he wants our baby to have (a more planned, the “real” one since he feels the one I’m doing is rushed). I told him to plan the other baptism in whatever religion he chooses and do it however he’d like and I’d show up. But I said this first baptism is “mine”. I realize it a selfish to think of it as mine instead of something for us but my husband has spent years looking into a religion that best aligns with himself (since he was 15).

Anyway, I remind myself that he is not my enemy. But it reminds me of those irreconcilable differences divorce that we see celebrities have. I don’t want to throw away everything we built but I’m so tired. Marriage is hard work but it’s seriously like my third job (working, being a mom, and being a wife).

My husband works and goes to school. It’s been this way for about 3 years so again I’m tired. I know he loves me so that really puts comfort. But sometimes I feel like marriage is giving me little returns and much headaches. Thanks for listening yall. I needed to vent bad and maybe therapy.

I’m Catholic so I understand more where he is coming from because we view baptism as a sacrament and not just an optional thing you do for show. Im not sure how Lutherans feel about it but we believe in “one baptism for the forgiveness of sins” it is in the nicene creed. So you’re having everything the way you want it? Your church, your choice of godparent. He doesn’t get any say in this? Why can’t you compromise

Sorry I just saw your comment about you letting his sister be a godparent. I think a second baptism is unnecessary, maybe talk to an orthodox priest and get some input?

I highly recommend some therapy! It has helped me with the resentments that I didn’t even realize we’re building up over and over again over certain issues like housework, income since I am a sahm, I get child support but half goes so I can pay child support myself for my daughter so I have very little income to make work for myself and the kids. My fiancé moved into his own apartment and I’m pregnant with my 4th, his first child. The realization has just started to hit me that there’s gonna be a whole other human to care for in about 2 months. Idk if that happens to y’all other moms but I feel like it just hits me finally and I freak out a bit. As moms we make it work but I just feel like my partner isn’t gonna be helping me like he could or should unless I have something on paper saying he will. I hate that I feel this way but it’s just how he’s shown me time after time that he doesn’t think of my kids or even me first, he thinks of himself. It has caused many issues and yeah

We have different views on our levels of religion. He believes the world is only 6k years old. The Bible is the truth. I believe in evolution as that’s how I grew up. My son was baptized when he was about to pass away at age two in the hospital. I haven’t had my other children baptized as I feel it’s something they can choose to do when they understand it better. My almost 12 yr old daughter has seen some of her peers do it at church and now she’s more wanting to do it to fit in so I told her I want her to really understand what it means first. With my partner living elsewhere now I usually go to church most Sundays and he now has to work that day so I just attend with a family friend. But if I hadn’t gotten pregnant I honestly don’t think I would be with him. I do want to try and make things work but I won’t sit here and be unhappy and most of the time lately it’s just been more stress than it’s worth trying to stay at his apt even for more than 1 night. He doesn’t realize that it’s

Up to him weather or not he will get to attend his first child’s birth. Like he should be treating me like a queen. Bc he doesn’t realize that if he’s gonna be causing me drama and chaos, he will not be there at the birth. So yeah I just wished he would think more like this and realize how stupid he is when he causes this drama and I just go home to my dads house and not talk to him a few days. I think you should try to make it work but you need to let your husband know that he shouldn’t be getting 8-9 hours of sleep and you only 5! Like it wears you down so so much not getting enough rest! He needs to be letting you nap and taking care of more around the house and childcare!

What’s your name so I can pray for y’all! I’ll add you to my prayer list on this Bible app I use daily! It’s made by you version if anyone is interested and it’s awesome and free!

That goes for any of y’all other ladies who might want me to pray for y’all in some way too! Just message me or something!

@Kira meeeee