Toddlers hitting you after you stop him doing something naughty/dangerous

Thank you in advance ☺️

My daughter is 3 and does the same including biting, scratching, hair pulling and strangling. It is all directed towards me when angry, upset, overwhelmed or just tired. When she does any of that, I hold her wrists, go down to her level. I tell her mommy loves you sooooo much, but if you continue to hit me, you CHOOSE to hurt mommy. Usually it stops immediately. Sometimes she'll continue but kind and gently. Like pretending to scratch me, or gutting me softly. It's getting them to know they have a choice and no matter what they do, we will always love them.

I’m sorry for your struggle, I know raising a toddler can be hard. Toddlers, although limited in speech, can understand a lot more than you think. Can I ask you some questions please and you can private message the answers if you feel more comfortable. Is your home set up so that there are less “no’s” and more “yes’s”. In other words, is a lot of the things in your home that he should not be touching, within his reach. Toddlers are naturally curious and are learning about their surroundings every day. Allowing them to explore, touch feel taste, is allowing them to learn and grow. We are not born with emotional regulation and hitting is a reaction to frustration. This is our job as parents to teach other ways to handling disappointment by our own behavior when we get disappointed. This is completely normal for toddlers, his behavior should not be a big concern.. But with that said anytime, you’re concerned always ask your doctor. Please read my next comment.

Toddlers naturally have a lot of energy to burn and are full of curiosity. They have only been on this earth for two years in your case. Their brain is severely under developed, basically holding just a lot of emotions and a lot of space to learn more. They are naturally impulsive because that part of the brain has not developed yet. All of this is completely normal and a part of them growing into a future adult. It does not indicate any kind of neurological problems, It is the nature of the beast, so they say. Your behavior determines so much of your child’s behavior. If you stay calm, they will also learn to stay calm. They are not little adults, they cannot act like little adults, it’s not just difficult. It’s impossible. I wish I could put everything into these comments to help you, but of course that’s also not possible. I have a book I wrote, it’s a manual for raising happy toddlers and it’s called RAISING HAPPY TODDLERS. Available on Amazon.