Encouragement
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It's very normal and you are not alone. Having a baby is very, very hard, and having PPD/PPA is difficult and isolating. I'm still there, and my son is 3. It does get better, but it's a long fight. I've wanted nothing more, my whole life, than to be a mum. So when I didn't have the reaction, I always dreamed of when I found out, and most everyone else didn't either, it destroyed something in me. I then suffered prenatal depression and was so stressed throughout my pregnancy that I couldn't really enjoy it. My partner and I were in such an awful place that I don't really like our newborn shoot photos and never even got the tiny hand and foot moulds we paid for. I was in such a bad mental state that I considered abortion for modt of my pregnancy and cried myself to sleep most nights. I cried in a doctors office and begged for help after my son was born, and I started hallucinating, and I felt so alone. I got put on medication and referred to a therapist and can't recommend either, enough.
It is so hard and so lonely, but there are people who know and understand what you are going through, medication to stabilise your hormones, people to talk to, etc You are not alone, I'm here to talk if you need to. It does get better, and you will get through this. Take it a day at time, a step at a time, a breath at a time. Just a tiny bit of advice, if I may. Prioritise your relationship with your partner (please trust me on this), and your mental health (self care is SO important) and your bond with your bubba. Everything else can wait. Something that helps me is getting out of the house as much as possible; shops, brunch, the park, a walk, the pool, museum, etc Find what works for you. Sending love ❤️
I’ve had two kids (9,5) and suffered from ppd both times. Now that so long has passed I see that your body and brain do need to time to find a balance. A woman doesn’t really get back to “normal” until two years later which makes absolute sense. I’m not saying this applies to everyone as everyone is different but in my case I was able to relate. What did help me was talk therapy, I didn’t take meds but some women do. I would always go out for walks with my baby and then two babies and I found that helped a lot (Just being outside even if it was for a little bit). I slowly but surely joined a mommy and me class and I felt that helped me out too. I think you shouldn’t rush it now just try to go with the flow and try to have grace for yourself. You’re doing the best you can.