Postpartum rage

I have a 6 months old baby. I’ve been suffering with anxiety, rage, maybe depression during postpartum. Long story short, I exploded tonight when my baby woke up after I put him to sleep. I was very hysterical as I’m exhausted and I’m now obsessed with dust and I was planning to hoover tomorrow but once he woke up crying I completely lost it, shouted at him and started hoovering the bedroom while I was hitting stuff. In the middle of all this my husband took baby downstairs with my in laws and baby was very scared and upset. Of course I’m the bad guy here so I don’t expecting them to empathise with me, they aren’t my parents anyway. Once I calmed down I brought baby to the bedroom and put him back to sleep. Yes I feel guilty I didn’t want to react that way I just completely lost it. My question here is, do I have to apologise with my in laws?
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I’m sorry you’re struggling ❤️ you’re not the bad guy, postpartum anxiety/rage/depression is so hard on top of how difficult and exhausting motherhood already is. Your baby may have got a fright but you’re still his mum and his safe space, he won’t remember that come tomorrow. I hope you can get some extra help and support so you don’t get to the point of “exploding” like this when things feel too much. To answer your question, no you don’t owe in laws an apology imo. Is it their house? I would maybe apologise if you slammed doors or broke anything bid theirs or something like that, otherwise no. They should be checking to make sure you’re okay really.

No you don't have to. You did what you did and no one else is walking in your shoes. I have exploded to my inlaws sometimes for Jo reason at all, sometimes even when the Crack jokes , and I feel shit shameful and guilty after 10 mins. They were literally laughing and made a joke and I just got mad at them coz I took it serious. But then I thought- I'm going through soemthing and they don't know what it is. They are not me. They don't know that I don't get sleep or they do and don't care. They don't know I was struggling with everything but trying to put a happy face. I dint apologize to them and they understood.

You have ZERO reason to apologize. This happens, it happens to me still at 16m pp (less often but still does). It can be SO hard with all the emotions and exhaustion. You are not the bad guy and there’s nothing wrong with you. You are doing your best🩷

@MaryKate @swathy @Ari thanks so much to you all 💕

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