Am I in the wrong here sorry it’s long😢

Me and my husband have been together 12 years he lost his job in July I’m a SAHM we have three kids. Since July he’s been helping a bit with the housework doing dishes and hoovering but I do everything else and run after him. For the past few month he’s no longer intimate with me, doesn’t tell me he loves me, doesn’t hug me or really do anything with me when I try he pushes me off and says he’s not in the mood I just need physical touch he only comes to me when he’s in the mood for sex. He asks general questions about my day but I notice he’s half listening he doesn’t fully listen to me he does like takes the piss out of me. Last night our eldest son 10 likes to do the treadmill one of us watches him it’s usually me so I went through to swap with his dad I said to my husband he’s had a while off we should ease him into it he said son do what you want I’m off and completely blew it all out of proportion. I of course confronted him when our kids were in bed he says I should never have done that I wasn’t even needed to come through even though I was told I was needed he then said I said just leave the treadmill you don’t need to do it when I did not say that he’s now putting words in my mouth which I never said he also says the state of the flat is annoying him and I NEED to sort it all out and the washing needs done I’m constantly doing a wash there’s 5 people so of course the washing is never going to be empty but he says it’s my FAULT. He tells us all what to do around the house but he never helps or lifts a finger. We also don’t agree on the same parenting techniques for when our kids are misbehaving he said to me it’s now an issue but we use to meet in the middle but now it’s either his way or no way he’s strict and if I add in my thoughts he’s quick to shut it down or say fine do what you want. Is this gaslighting? He’s making me out to be a fool and putting untrue words in my mouth he said I’m failing my kids because I’m not teaching them and because I added in my opinion. I also forgot to add we don’t sleep in the same bed he sleeps on the sofa and he plays games and watches the sports all night and sleeps all day I have now stopped running after him and making his meals for him because he can do that himself but I feel like he doesn’t appreciate me and is taking me for granted.