do you consider your significant other giving you the silent treatment as toxic or narcissistic?

for context, my mom used to give me the silent treatment as a child as young as like 6-7 when i did something she didn’t like and she would only speak to me if i apologized first, no matter if she was in the wrong. some of my earliest memories with my mom are me begging literally sobbing for her to stop ignoring me as a small child because it affected me so much to be ignored by someone who was supposed to love me. my “man” knows this, he knows everything about me and my mom and all the things that trigger me. our relationship is pretty much completely over, i have forgave and “forgotten” until resentment has festered and he doesn’t understand why i am so distant and why im not the same happy person i was 5 years ago. he talks to me like i am literally a piece of garbage, every name you can imagine, telling me he settled with me and he regrets it, that our child together is his biggest mistake he’s ever made because im the mom. he comes home and he ignores me and the kids. he flat out has pretended i don’t exist for the past four days basically, he looks past me, if i say anything he’ll either look at me or shake or nod his head, say idk or yes or no and then he acts like i’m not there. he doesn’t thank me for his dinner anymore, he just gets up and leaves the room. he doesn’t tell me bye or even kiss me in the morning. he doesn’t call me on the way home or even let me know he’s alive all day long. i don’t bother texting or calling him because even before the past 4 days he acts like i bother him if i call or text him if he’s on break. the silent treatment started because he got sick last weekend and i left him alone in our room while i handled the kids and he told me it was disrespectful and showed i don’t care about him that i left him alone in there. i told him i figured that’s what he wanted because when he’s sick he just sleeps and doesn’t acknowledge anyone so i left him alone. figured if he needed/wanted anything he would say something. i made dinner that day and he said he would try to eat what i had made, didn’t ask for soup, ate like 3 bites and cussed me out for being stupid and not giving him soup. bare in mind i thought he was hungover because he’s an alcoholic and drinks every. single. night until 3 am. he actually had norovirus. he was fine the next day but was still mad at me for letting him just relax and get better. i stayed away too because i knew if i got what he has he would not help me with literally anything and i didn’t wanna get my kids sick or have to do everything i do sick. i got sick too anyway and he didn’t lift a finger, he watched me throw up and run to the bathroom for two days and i still had to do everything, i asked him for help once and he took so long to do that i just did it myself and didnt ask for anything else over the 2 days i was sick. now hes saying i dont care about him as i still cook for him, make his plate, wash his clothes, fold them and lay his clothes out for work. i guess he is literally just done with me and is giving me the silent treatment until i break down and leave. if i had somewhere to go for me and my kids i would, but i dont..

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I don’t choose neither options because I’m not a mental health professional, I don’t like to diagnose people with mental health issues, and I don’t even know him. But from what you say, he’s a horrible person, and I think you should start planning your exit. He’s selfish and doesn’t love you and the kids.

It's definitely abusive. I grew up with a mum like that too and it'd devastate me to be in a relationship like this. You and your child deserve better.

If u want to stay with this man, stop doing anything for him. Why do it if he claims you don’t do anything? You’re just setting yourself up to feel unappreciated and worthless. He knows how much this bothers you, and he gets off on doing it. Go about your day. Fill your day with plans. Even if it’s a walk outside. Don’t do his laundry, or make his meals. Let him see how much you truly “don’t do.” If you want to leave this man (which I would) and family isn’t an option to go to, save your pennies. When you go to the grocery store save the change. Any little bit. When you get enough to leave hit his ass with child support. Look at a wfh job if you don’t have one. DoorDash when he’s at work. Take the tax return (child credit) if he is stupid and doesn’t know. That’s what I did. “Oh we didn’t get much back because they lowered the credit and we needed to pay for health insurance.” Get a credit card if you can with a decent limit that u can use for emergencies like food. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Wow, I can't believe what I'm reading, he's sounds like an absolute POS. Please find it in yourself to leave him. Nobody EVER should treat a person this way, especially the father of your kids

Whether he’s a narcissist or not, it’s kind of irrelevant. He’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve to be with you. Leave him. No one should be treated this way.

Wow that is abusive. I’m so sorry your mom did that to you. It’s definitely a trigger for you now and it’s 100% understandable why you feel this way. Him knowing this is a trigger shows his intentions

Silent treatment is a form of abuse. I’m sorry you dealt with that as a child , don’t allow your kids to be treated the same. If he’s doing it to you, it will happen to them to. Stop the cycle.

To be honest, your mum sounds just as bad as your partner. I would take your kids & get as far away from both of them as you can x

Sounds like you both need some serious personal therapy and either marriage counseling or agree that the relationship is over, and go your separate ways.

Firstly silent treatment is a form of abuse so I'm sorry your mom put you through that from such a young age and I'm even more sorry that your partner who knows what you went through is also doing it. Secondly - get out. Whether it be to a friend's house or to a shelter. You need to leave this man. I know it's hard, trust me I did it with my ex. I was basically homeless for 3 months sofa surfing, yes I didn't have any children but if I did I'd have left sooner. You don't want your babies to normalise his behaviour and think that it's okay to treat/be treated this way. Or if your married tell him to get out the house, I'm unsure where you are but in the UK the mom would keep the home so the children have a stable roof over their head. But I think it's past saving. He sounds like a right nasty cunt and no one deserves to be treated or spoken to how he is to you. You do deserve better. You are important. Your kids need a better environment to grow up in.

Silent treatment is emotional and mental abuse

If he’s an alcoholic that drinks every single day you need to leave for the safety of your kids.

Think about if u want ur kids subjected to this behavior. Call a place near by thst helps pregnant woman and mothers with and exit plan and all

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