What do I do now? Ideas/advice please?

We have two kids and expecting our third. Me and my partner have been having issues for a while, the same argument every single time. Over the last few days I’ve just been a bit withdrawn and just thought about things until today when I’ve just had enough. I’ve told him to leave. Which he has now done after refusing initially. I don’t work as I take care of the kids and I’m pregnant, so have no income, but before he left he asked for his bank card back. Things have been tight with money recently as he hasn’t worked for a little bit now. I missed the council tax payment as I just don’t have any money to cover it and my partner seems to think we shouldn’t be paying it as the house is my mums, but she’s not living here, we are. I’ve been trying to sell on Vinted and trying to source free bits on marketplace for baby just to get a bit of money and save where I can. But now he’s taken his bank card I don’t know what to do, just to feed the children, milk, nappies etc. Do food banks help with this stuff? How do I go about this? I’m in east London if that helps. Thank you.

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Call citizens advise and call universal credit and they will help you x

I would contact the local council and speak to your midwife about it, they have resources that can help you. I pray things get better for you and the kids, stay strong ❤️x

@Tilly we have a joint UC claim at the moment, but didn’t get any payment in January as he got paid in November and December (he hasn’t worked since beginning of December) so next payment isn’t due until February 3rd. Do you think they’d still help? I’m just so upset that he made a point to ask for his bank card back. Of course I understand him taking it back from me to use, but he doesn’t even care to check if the kids are sorted before he left. He knows I have no money. Or go to the shop himself and get some food and nappies for the kids. I’m panicking, I’ve never had to rely on someone for money my entire adult life. I’m just so embarrassed I let myself get into this mess.

If he’s no longer living with you, then you need to update your claim to a single one. He is trying to manipulate you by taking his card. As he thinks you’ve got no means to support yourself and family. It’s financial abuse. You should ask him for child maintenance and say you need something now. And arrange payments otherwise you will go to csa xx

@Erica thank you, I will contact my midwife. There council have been useless for me in the past so I’m not sure if I’d get anywhere with them, but thank you

Have you tried applying for child benefits? x

@Tilly I’ve literally just got a notification from UC saying there’s been a change to my claim, and he’s ended the joint claim himself. He’s not working at the moment so there’s nothing to claim from? I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of me having to ask him for something now, I’m going to see if I can get help from a food bank until I get UC. If it comes to it ask UC for an advance payment or something x

The fact he asked for his card back shows you made the right decision asking him to leave, what kind of person leaves their children and the mother of their children without money for food? Go to your local food bank, and your local children's centre, update your universal credit, and contact the admins of the golden hearted group on Facebook as they sometimes have food they can give or nappies etc and have quite a few hubs around London. Apply for child benefit if you haven't already, and apply for a healthy start card they are fantastic

@Erica I do get child benefit yes x

In the meantime you could go on the app Olio which gives away free food and there is often lots of free baby stuff. I hope everything works out for you x

@Claudia he definitely knew what he was doing. But that’s the only leverage he has over me, but it’s because of him and his earnings I’m not getting UC, so it’s just getting through the next couple of weeks and he won’t have that over me anymore. Thank you, I’m definitely going to contact a local food bank to see if they can help. Thank you so much x

Let me know if I can send you anything. Also try local WhatsApp selling groups for free stuff

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