in New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Mum guilt

Anyone else having guilt knowing there LO isn’t going to grow up with a father figure around. I’m starting to feel so sad and upset thinking this is all my fault finding it so hard playing the role of a mum and dad my LO is only 4 months 😞

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Don't beat yourself up, she has you and some days might be hard but you've got this mama x

If the father not being present is out of your control, or for very valid reasons (he’s a danger etc) then you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. I used to feel the same with my eldest two - their Dad last saw them when my youngest was 9 months old - his choice - and they’re now 20 and 18. I can honestly say it hasn’t had any negative affects on them growing up. If they asked questions, I’d answer as honestly as possible at an age-appropriate level. I remember when my youngest was about 13/14, and a conversation came up about his Dad, and his words were “You can’t miss what you’ve never had”, and those words have always stuck with me as I’d never thought about it like that xxx

@Louise wow thank you for sharing that! That’s really gave me peace of mind tbh. That quote is so valid and will stick with me also! What an intelligent boy! ❤️

You’re welcome. Glad it’s helped to put your mind at ease xxx

Just to add, their Dad got in touch about 12 months ago wanting to see them. I gave him their mobile numbers (with my boys consent) and told him the choice was the boys and not mine. None of them wanted any contact / to meet. Just proves that they will see true colours for themselves and know who has been present in their lives xxx

My sons dad has never met him and that wasn’t my choice but yeah I still feel bad for my son. And I think the guilt my end is more that sometimes I don’t think I’m doing a good enough job and he would’ve had a better life if I was able to share the load or even if I was happier and less stressed all the time.