Confused with breastfeeding

Firstly I’m so sorry you’ve had such a traumatic experience and a rough time of it all - this is not the way anyone wants to start this motherhood journey but I hope you’re now on your way to making a full recovery 🙏🏻 I can’t believe your strength and resilience that you still want to breastfeed little one!! Ok my experience was: I had an emergency c section, I was trying to breastfeed for 2.5 months straight, during this time I was pumping and bottle feeding. I tried everything - I got different advice from EVERY single midwife it was so so frustrating it was confusing it was unhelpful! I never gave up and eventually little man latched on after many many tears from both of us and I could tell you in detail if you want what I kept trying and what finally clicked but honestly more than anything it was just not giving up on him. But you sound like you have a huuuuge amount of recovery to get through - recovery from labour recovery from a section recovery from 3 abdominal

Surgeries, you’ve no doubt been separated from baby and pumping etc during these times. Which has all affected you getting any steady and good supply. Please only take this as an opinion from someone who knows how difficult and draining breastfeeding can be when it just doesn’t go as smoothly as planned, but eventually my supply got less and less after him latching and I had to top up with my frozen up pumped batches and then ran out out of that and made a difficult decision to top up with formula and then slowly it was more formula and barely any breast milk and I just had to say stop. I just think you don’t need the extra stress with all the recovery you have to go through and navigating caring for a newborn and you’ll still be mixed feeding anyway. My opinion is prioritise your mental health and fed is best and get baby on a good formula and focus your energy on something else as there’s plenty to!! Hope you don’t mind my bluntness xxx

@Tulin I know what you’re saying. It would be so much easier. And I’m not against formula feeding, but this is my miracle baby and I won’t get this experience again, and I feel like I should be giving her breast milk? I dunno I just feel guilty for some reason if she doesn’t get breast milk. It’s really, really hard. Once I’m recovered I don’t want to look back with regret, but equally it’s distressing trying to breastfeed and express, not to mention exhausting when I’m in so much pain. I keep getting comments from people about how I should be breastfeeding and I know I should ignore them. I don’t know why I feel so guilty. I also wouldn’t know how to stop and I’m worried about getting mastitis?

I fully understand that and so you do it for as long as you can and need to until you are ready to stop - no one can tell you when that is. Trust me, 99% of anyone telling you that you should be breastfeeding, didn’t struggle THIS much with it. I felt all those feelings it’s why it took me in total 4.5 months to switch to formula only. And once that initial guilt was over, I wish I did it sooner, you know? My boy thrived - he gained more weight, he slept better, he was no longer colicy, -l had my own complications with my c section so I could finally focus on my recovery, I was just all around happier and it was better for both me and baby because when I was juggling breastfeeding / trying everything under the sun to increase my forever dropping supply / pumping / washing and sanitising bottles and pump parts every couple hours / making formula and then cooling it to top up - like the whole thing and just the constant questioning myself like “maybe my supply is low because i am

Topping him up - because my body doesn’t have a high enough demand so its producing less - you know? So i’ll stop the formula and the bottle feeding from my freezer batch, ok now he’s crying cause he’s hungry - ok maybe i need to give my body time and its ok for him to be a bit hungry until my supply regulates - blah blah It was one of the worst and most draining things ever!

So that was my experience and maybe hearing it from this point of view can help you gain a different perspective than everyone else guilting you and convincing you you’re basically not a good enough mother if you don’t do it or keep trying until your supply literally dries out. If you did decide to stop - you’d pump less, you’d breastfeed less, across a few days until your supply naturally drops more and more and your breasts don’t feel as full even if they do have milk in them still - and you just massage them under hot showers so there’s no build up and eventually they’ll stop producing milk. It only took me about 5 days or so personally? Maybe a week :)

I can’t comment on the experience you’ve had but I had similar in regards to the feed and being in and out of hospital affecting my supply. My baby had tongue tie, has your little girl been assessed for tongue tie? It meant that he slipped off the breast constantly and got so frustrated and cried a lot during breastfeeding. I also got referred to the infant feeding team who recommended different positions for latching and breast compressions whilst feeding to assist let down to help keep baby interested. They’ve also given me so much information and advice to improve supply (still awaiting it to increase but the support has been good). The infant feeding team have not once given me alternatives, they asked my preference for feeding and want to get me there with their advice. Hopefully an infant feeding team can help you? It may take some time for your supply due to the trauma you’ve been through but the latch can definitely be supported x

My eldest daughter was a little premie NICU baby, I tried for weeks to breastfeed her whilst she was in hospital, kept expressing to keep milk supply up but she wasn't having any of it, the day after I brought her back from hospital, she finally managed to latch for a full feed and after that she didn't look back, breastfed her up until she was 1! It sounds like there's been a whole lot of stress on you both, don't be disheartened and hopefully she will catch on soon, but however you feed her is beautiful and you're doing amazingly ❤️

Sorry you went through all this. I also had some complications after the birth of my little girl, my milk didn't came up straight away and she was hungry, we had to top up with formula. Then we got separated as I needed surgery, I pumped and dumped to keep my supply, but it still wasn't enough for her. She would grunt and giggle so much on the breast at time. She cluster feed straight away, which really drained me, especially since I was still recovering from my complications. I recently decided to switch slowly to formula only. But if you want to keep on breastfeeding you will have to pump more often, every time you give her a bottle, otherwise your body think you don't need that much milk. You can try using a haaka, or do power pumping. I did that with my first. Do skin to skin with your baby, don't cover his hand when breastfeeding, apparently they "massage" your breast while feeding helps with your supply too

Also eat and drink often, you need calories to produce milk and sleep when you can. Good luck on your journey

@Marie you think expressing more than every 3 hours? It’s quite draining doing every 3 hours so not sure I could do it more often

Have you tried nipple shields? I used these with my little one when he wouldn’t latch/kept coming off after a few seconds/minutes. With my first we used them for about 10 weeks. I would keep trying to latch him each day and if it didn’t work, just put the shield on. Eventually he just latched on me, maybe as he was a bit bigger and knew what to do more?! I’m now using them again with my second for now as the latch is so painful. The mam ones are great and sterilise in the microwave

@Laura unfortunately to increase your supply you might need to power pump, meaning pumping often, for short period of time, frequently....I had to do that with my first. It can be only for a few days, until you see the difference. When you feed on one side, you can pump on the other too or use a haaka. I know it's not easy, that why this time around I just choose to give up 😕

@Laura thanks I’ll have a look!

Find an ibclc lactation consultant. They can help and are the only people able (from my experience) who cqn help wiyh more complex feeding issues. Midwives and hv have a very basic understanding of infant feeding. There are a few on Instagram -Kathryn stagg -Olivia hinge -Lucy Webber They have loads of free info. But you can also seek support from your children’s centre as they may have an nhs ibclc attached to it (mine does) Or can pay for private support

I would continue mixed feeding, and try to ween her off the bottle. But it’s okay if she doesn’t. I know it’s upsetting…. But it can be very hard once they have had the bottle… especially if they started with it,.. to then transition to the breast, cuz the breast is a lot more work. :/

I have this exact situation with the issues and c section and baby not getting enough milk, I’ve been struggling through mainly formula feeding as I’m only get 20-30ml pump and my baby is feeding 100mls. My supply is slowly drying up and I’m battling with wanting to up it but also being exhausted from trying which obviously doesn’t help the oxytocin! My baby has had 5 weeks of minimal breastmilk and I also worry if he is missing out from not getting enough of my milk. It’s tough being a mama and I battle with it every day - stay strong you’ve been through a lot

@Alicia same here! I get an average of 40ml per pump so not enough for a feed. Sometimes she has 150ml per feed. I don’t feel like my supply is getting lower, it’s just stayed the same since my milk came in

Yes that’s the same for me, it’s getting less because I’m pumping less but it stayed the same since birth - such a battle

Also when you pump or express, is not the same as baby suction which is more efficient, so if you expressed 40ml, baby might have more for the same time .....Good luck