Petty or justified?

I went out to lunch with my In-Laws today. When we got to their house to collect them (taking 1 car made more sense), my MIL passive aggressively asked how my 20 week scan went. I told her that I didn’t have my 20 week scan (I did but was intentionally withholding that information). She told me that my partner had said I did. I text him to ask why he had done that despite our conversation where he agreed not to share information without asking or agreeing it. This was one of the things he agreed not to. He told me that she asked and he didn’t want to lie, etc. Here’s the thing, there have been plenty of times where he has made me keep pertinent information to myself, lie to his mum, etc. I have told him that I will no longer be doing any of that anymore. I will be telling them things if they ask me, seeing as he has decided to do the same. Possibly important to note: The reason I didn’t want her having the scan dates is because she is trying to date my pregnancy so that she can be at the hospital - which she knows I have said no to. She will be abroad at the time but will cancel in order to go against our wishes. Secondly, she wants to tell people that neither I or my partner are in contact with about my pregnancy. I said I am not telling anyone until after my 20 week scan (which is true) because there are close relatives and friends that I am yet to contact. ETA: I still plan on keeping my pregnancy information to myself. The things that I will no longer be keeping secret are things my partner asks me to (about him). If I am asked, I will not lie for him. Sorry, I might have been unclear about that.

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I would sit her down now and tell her there is no way she will be getting into your hospital room because you are going to tell the nurses you don't want ANY visitors.

@Cheyann I have. I did last time, too. She still got into my room and it caused so many issues with my own family (who were told that we’re not having visitors and respected it). I am probably going to speak with my FIL in an attempt to get him to keep her away for certain.

Seems like there needs to be more boundaries in place. It’s your partner’s job to navigate that with his parents. Not your job, especially 20 weeks pregnant. Not good mentally to take on. I’d be honest & direct with her, if she asks you personal questions. “I’m not comfortable sharing that.” You & partner need to be on the same page. Focus energy on that.

The nurses let her in after you told them no visitors?!?! I would be soooo upset. My hospital has a front desk people have to go through that will turn people away if they see you've asked for no visitors. Visitors also have to be buzzed through a door to get into the postpartum area, so there's no way for people to get in without permission. They even asked me if my mom could come in, because she got to my room less than an hour after I did after my c section😂 she brought me food, but I also did allow my son's grandparents and aunts and uncles who wanted to come visit because that was my personal preference at the time.

@Cheyann She used to manage the hospital I had my (then) baby in 🥲