How you all coping with being a mom?

I’m managing to get out daily and get little bits done (mainly the pots whilst my son watches lol) but overall I’m very anxious around the topic of sleep. Also my son won’t take a bottle and cries if I leave for too long so I feel tethered to the house… but I have a gig next week and that is also causing anxiety. My husband is wonderful but my son makes his life so hard when I’m gone for over an hour or two. I totally get the 0 time for yourself. But also… my son contact napped on my husband on Saturday and he told me to go and have some me time but I genuinely couldn’t decide what to do 😭

Time to myself is mostly when I’m out on a walk with my little one who’s also nearly 5 months as he naps in the pram. I used to be able to have some time to do the dishes, tidy up and do bits like go on the laptop to do life admin when he used to do longer naps. Now he’s so hard to put down for naps and when he does eventually nap, it’s sometimes 20-30 mins if I’m lucky. Yesterday my husband had him in the afternoon so I could just clean and tidy around the house. I dread the days he goes in the office because I feel like I can’t get anything done especially when it’s a contact nap. I’ve been trying to put him down for a nap and he’s currently fighting it so I might take a walk later

Can you put baby in sling and do some household stuff with her? I find my baby quite enjoys that especially if I narrate what I'm doing. Particularly cooking. Also worth creating little play areas in most rooms so youre not confined to one area. Eg I have some basic mats and toys in the kitchen so he can have a roll around while I'm doing the washing up. Don't get me wrong, he'll fuss after a few mins, but it at least means I can get stuff done in little bursts.

@Rachel she has a live hate relationship with the sling and if she’s in it she doesn’t let me do much 🥴 we use the pram a lot in the house and also a bouncer but that buys me 5 to 10 minutes tops and then that’s it 🥹

@Linda it’s nice when my husband is at home he helps but it still hard as he is very tired as well and she also is mostly after me which it’s just really hard 😔

@Andreea Colta ah that's a shame, have you tried outward facing yet if she has the head control? Mine will only do that when awake

@Beth I do get that when she sleeps well now you just don’t know what is more of a priority and by the time you decide she’s up 😅🥲

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with all of this! What I've found helpful on hard days is setting myself the lowest bar of keeping myself and the baby alive, clean and fed. Everything else can take a hike! Motherhood is hard and finding time for yourself is so difficult in amongst the cleaning and the washing and the nap (or not!) cycle. If you act gently towards yourself, as you would encourage a friend to do, things might start to feel easier. We're not meant to do everything by ourselves.

I try not to have too high expectations. I enjoy contact naps so that I know he's getting some decent sleep. Make sure to have my kindle handy or the tv to watch something while he naps then I try and get stuff done while he's awake. I do a lot of housework with him either in the carrier or in his bouncy chair watching what I'm doing. I also find getting out for a walk or to go and see family/friends stops it from being so overwhelming

Yeah same here. My girl is nearly 5 months and the last month or so it has been impossible to get any ‘me’ time. She naps half hour at a time usually and refuses to nap anywhere but in my arms. After trying her cot and the one we keep downstairs and even her moving electric chair. Nothing. She has to sleep in my arms which don’t get me wrong, I love but I can’t do the dishes, I can’t fold laundry or workout as much as I did when she was small and fell asleep wherever 😅🫠 I do also go out for walks like other mums have said and she falls asleep so I put one headphone in and listen to some music or an audiobook and go grab a coffee whilst she naps in there but honestly…I’m glad I’m not alone. I thought it was only me in this situation. But you’re doing amazing. The last week I have been putting her in the baby carrier/sling for her morning nap so I can go on my walking pad and actually just move and get some exercise in which helps centre me a little ❤️

I’m in the exact same boat I find teething toys are helpful sometimes or I’ve recently got a dummy thing you put fruit in so they get some natural juices if u want a chat your more then welcome to drop me a message xx

I feel your pain too! My boy currently waking up every 2.5 hours at night, in the day he’s awake much longer than he used to be and getting bored. He only naps longer in the pram or car seat and that’s hit and miss. Even on me it’s not often longer than 20-40 mins. It’s hard because today I finally tried to clean the house with him awake and moving him around with me but it took literally the whole entire day like this and he napped less than 2 hours in total so I dread what the night will bring 😭 I don’t want to rush any stage of him growing up but it’s hard. It’s not like I even want to do something for myself really - I want to do his washing and vacuum and make lunch 🤣 so I just try and take it as it comes - hold him with my kindle or headphones , go for walks and listen to an audio book etc. It doesn’t help that everyone seems to be obsessed with sleep and “is he going through the night yet? Oh dear”. And you feel you’re failing! But we are all in this together xx

@Lauren it makes it more manageable knowing we’re not alone in this, because it often feels that way. It will definitely get better but it’s indeed really hard and I guess it really is all about sleep and if we’re a bit more rested it seems a lot easier compared to when we’re exhausted.